I have a weird feeling like I’ll have a stroke or aneurysm soon. The Deja vu has set in deeply. I feel like I’ll have this at night and when I get to the hospital my right eye won’t be working and I’ll be put in an mri or ct then just pass away. The hospital room will be the back left corner of the ER where I live.

This is only a prediction I’m hoping it doesn’t happen but it’s a false memory or a dream from years ago that is clogging up my mind. Other than that it’s possible I talk to someone from the opposite side of a white table maybe a mental health crisis happens to me?

One day I’ll be playing disc golf with my dad and something weird will happen I’ll trip in a dry patch of dirt at the local disc golf course on the first hole.

I might have a seizure or something behind the table I normally eat at for dinner. I’ll be behind the table then suddenly be unable to speak properly or something of the sorts. Not sure how this connects if my original thought process is me in my bed having the medical emergency?

I have conflicting “memories” yet all of them seem very possible. At this point everything seems lived nothing seems new it feels like as I’m living my day I have already lived them in the past or parallel life or multiple lives. So are all these “memories” how I died in other realities or just nightmares I had that my mind is trying to push into reality? Hopefully my new psychiatrist can help me sift through all this nonsense and get me some meds that will stop this madness.

I will say I have had this kind of Deja vu before and it left me before but I’m between meds because the VA sucks at refilling meds prescribed by civilian doctors. So maybe it’s being off meds doing this to me or maybe it was gonna happen anyways but without the meds it is amplified? Any advice or suggestions for grounding, distractions, or just wanting to talk with a weirdo (myself) would be appreciated!

I know what I’m experiencing isn’t real but in my monkey brain and in the moment it all feels so real like I’m actually living in a simulation, a death loop, time loop, or something else that bizarre. Its like I’m being punished in hell to relive my life and make it to a critical point and change one thing in life and I’ll be allowed to live out the rest of my days unburdened by the weight of this “curse”. Ain’t it weird how Deja vu and psychosis affect you?