Ever since I got over my delusions (realized they were delusions and refuse to feed them anymore), I have felt agoraphobic and prone to panic. This is because my delusions were a coping method for my anxiety. I would see "signs" from "the universe" that I was "on the right path" while at work, at social events, etc which assuaged my fears.

Now I feel incredibly groundless and unable to cope. I have been pushing myself to lwave the house and have made progress so far; this morning I got a coffee at the bakery next door, made small talk with the staff and experienced minimal anxiety. But, many things I used to do no problem, like riding the bus or walking a mile from home (when I used to run 4 miles fairly regularly; makes me feel ridiculous) -- I feel very anxious and avoidant when I think about doing them.

I am going to get therapy next month but in the meantime, has anyone else experienced this, and what has helped you?

edit: I forgot, I am also dealing with nihilism in the sense that everything I thought "meant something" no longer means anything, AND I am 2 weeks or something sober from weed and a month sober from alcohol. So like a lot is going on and maybe I should give myself a break. Still, I am upset with myself.