Feel bad for not being motivational here. I feel so bad sometimes. I lost a life of contentment, of loving my friends, of loving my apartment and hobbies. I want just one thing to feel normal. I get so excited sometimes when my cognition or mood improves, but then it flattens out and I’m once again feeling sad and stagnant. I want to come home from work and watch tv. I can’t even feel relaxed most of the time. I want to love my job like I used to. It’s dreadful now and I hate going. I can’t imagine having another 6-12 months of this; or not recovering at all. Sometimes I’m in a good mood and feel like I can tackle this, feel like I can push myself, but not today, I’m sad and hopeless. Sorry I’m not happy posting. I really want to get through this. I want to have my opinions and thoughts back. I want to find a boyfriend. It feels like I will never be loved or able to love again. Thank you all for being such a nice community, seeing your posts of having good days inspires me to keep going. I’m going to try.