First of all, by too much I mean an amount that I am not really comfortable with. A dose I can’t control at all.

Whenever I take it my whole life focuses in on this trip, every problem comes forth and I have such an easy time navigating through it because I don’t fear any path it could take.

But what really surprised me that after the most emotional peak I’ve ever had, sobbing, crying and loosing myself, I would stark talking in ways that aren’t normal for me.

This happened on a festival, day 3 of 5. Few hours before that I had decided that I will have to break up with my partner of 4 years and my current friends group. I didn’t feel comfortable with them, felt hated and pushed away, ignored and like my feelings don’t matter. I was in full survival mode just trying to get through this festival without going into full depression or feeling so bad that I would want to run away.

Then one of them offered some acid and since I had nothing to loose I went for it. He said 75mcg but it was certainly a lot stronger. Also didn’t sleep the night before, was dizzy and hungry, weather was bad… It was a huge risk but I love risks especially when you know they will lead to progress and clarity no matter the outcome.

I didn’t only have the most truthful talk with my partner which cleared up so many problems we carried around, I also opened her up to an amount of empathy she couldn’t handle at the time. She told me that she started experiencing every bit of pain she had caused me and that it was the most intense pain she has ever felt in her life.

When I then talked to our friends the same thing happened, all their problems came forth and they were desperate to solve them. Instead, they started fighting, and then came to me for help.

And I just started talking, no stuttering, no thinking, some things didn’t even make sense to me after saying them, but when asked they said they understand.

I don’t get this, I’m not good at therapy or anything, I’m not a very social person, I’ve always focused mostly on myself to become who I want to be before indulging into making close friends.

This continued for hours, even after I dosed shrooms once I started coming down.

I was tripping hard, was pretty lost, it took me 2 hours to roll a joint while it normally takes 2 minutes. But I was still talking in ways that fascinated everyone.

No matter what came up, I brought it into a perspective that made sense to everyone that heard it.

The next day I woke up thinking I was tripping hard, rambled some garbage and somehow experienced some kind of Jesus or god complex, but no, everyone was so excited about the change I’ve gone through.

So much of that is still there, days later.

My relationship has reached a new level, my friendships have reached a level I didn’t know it existed and the relationship of my two friends finally reached an important but critical point (it was becoming more and more difficult apparently) from which on it is not progressing into a great direction for both - but future will tell.

Anyways, how is it possible that I stupidly take a lot of drugs of which one is an overdosed tab of lsd which turns me into the person I always wanted to be?

How is it possible I felt more sober tripping that hard than I do now? I feel like I could never think as clearly because in the trip I didn’t think a single thing, everything seemed to happen immediately.

I didn’t know what I was saying until I heard it myself, I had 0 control yet it felt like I had more control than ever over my mind.