Recently, i've had some unusual very deep trips and I dont know what to make of them..

The last 3 trips, molestation experiences with me as a baby kept coming up. I have no 'real life' memory of this.

1. In the trip it feels real, afterward I'm in doubt. why would my mind bring this up out of nowhere?. It keeps coming up. One trip was harrowing where I relived the SA experience. It ripped my soul from my body practically.

My life changed considerably for the better after this trip. I became happier, lighter, more self loving and like I had shed a sack load of black energy I had been carrying around all my life. People in my real life have noticed a huge difference in me.

2. When reliving this harrowing experience, I had started to call out of help for someone I had briefly dated a few months prior. He is significantly younger than me. However we are both very similar and were very attracted to each other. Our brief dating ended in an odd way and we haven't spoken since. I didn't take him seriously because of the age gap.

Mid trip I was hit with a realization that "Duh. it's HIM". He was showed to me as my twin flame. Prior to this, I did not even know what a.twin flame really was. The whole trip was deep, very beautiful and showed me how our future was going to be. It felt truly surprising and just incredible.

Days after the trip I felt a bit embarrassed and silly for paying mind to it. Maybe my mind has conjured what my soul is desiring? Maybe the shrooms are trying to get me to feel "love energy" so I can call it in? I dont know this person. On paper, it's so unlikely we'd be a match

3. Two weeks ago I did another trip. This is months after the above trip.

The whole trip is about him again. The whole thing. The 'entities' that people talk about showed me how our souls were intertwined. And kept saying 'we like this choice for you'. It his incredibly deep and spiritual. Life altering stuff.

This whole thing could be nothing but based on all of my other trips on shrooms, I just dont have trips that are not about my real life or soul's journey. I have had guys i've briefly dated come up in the past but not remotely in this way. They always appear in a way that is commensurate with their role in my real life.

I feel it has really changed my perspective on love in general, regardless. It was an incredibly deep, soul nourishing trip and I am very open to love.