As if I somehow knew and chose the life that I am currently living. True or not, that perspective is interesting to embrace and surrender to. I tend to attempt that alot. To surrender to perspectives and embrace them to explore what they do to my experience of reality. This is what I think it means to be a psychonaut, so many of us simply playing with perspectives that we embrace and seeing how far out we can take our internal experience of reality.

There’s something about embracing a perspective that frees me, but traps me at the same time. We can live life from so many different angles, so many different ways to view the same thing. Some of them are natural and resonate, others don’t but are still as much resonations. I often find myself trying to embrace the “right” perspective, or the one that grants me the most freedom of thought.

Whether I’m experiencing fun times with friends, or stressed out at work, or even in pain, there is always this thing in my mind that tries to balance and give freedom. It generally helps me to accept the current feeling I am in before I am free enough to explore alternatives.

Ultimately, at the root of this habit of mine, is a fear. I am afraid of living an unexamined life, of having it all pass by me without ever taking time to appreciate it for what it truly was. I feel like so many people get lost trying to impress others or to satiate some deep insecurity somehow and end up living entire lives that they don’t want and would have never chosen.

I think at the end, we all have regrets, they are apart of life, but learning how not to be consumed by them is important because the regret can and will overshadow the beauty and love.