I don’t if this was a bad trip as I’m glad it happened. So on a whim I did my first raw dmt trip (I’ve hit the carts) I had two trips. First hit was fun everything looked like a cartoon and my friend looked awesome, she was giving me a BJ it was all colorful and stuff. So I told her that it was fun but I wanna really trip. So she get some ready and says ‘take as much as you think you need’ so not sure how much I did but the the next thing I know I’m on a mechanical spaceship and I think to myself ’just let go, just let go’ and this replays on loop at least 2 times. Then black, I feel like I can’t breath and I something is physically happening. Then I must have panicked or something. Because I feel (it’s black I see nothing) that my family has entered the room and are w me. I felt their love. Then I feel that I’m actually dying that something happened and this is it, this is the end of my life. I can’t believe it this is death, this is what death is like and I’m going to die. Then I feel a strange calm. I am now dead, I have passed away, it’s over. I remember trying to tell my family ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ I feel really guilty that I have died. My mom has Alzheimer’s and has no working memory but in the trip she able and like herself. I remember thinking is everything I remember about my life not real? I was very confused. As I come down my friend says ‘you’re here you’re with me, we are in your room’. I ask her if I was breathing, was I thrashing around, did I say I’m sorry out loud? She says ‘no you just looked like you were sleeping, what happened?’ I tell her the story and she apologizes and asks if she should leave. I hold her hand and tell her that it was very scary and very intense but I’m glad I took it thank you. I should also note that I was on a lot of other drugs, crystal, GHB and weed.

Has anyone heard of this happening? I looked at a lot of trip reports and I can’t find anything describing a similar trip.

Do you think that the other drugs I was on played a role?

I can now say I don’t fear dying anymore (I never really did). I am convinced there is an afterlife.

It was really scary but also really calming. I don’t know what to think about the trip.