Mushrooms saved my life years ago. They gave me happiness and reason to live again. But lately I feel like the awareness of a higher level of living BECAUSE of psychadelics has ruined the regular. Life feels mundane and tedious. Everything in my life is great. There is nothing I really lack in my day to day. Not money, not sex, not food, not shelter, not family.

I feel like every day I have lucid moments of realizing I'm just going through the motions and life is just a cycle of good and bad and at the end of the day, life is neither good nor bad. There are moments of beauty but those moments are short, fleeting, and rare. There are bad things too but they always work themselves out. I find myself wanting some sort of tragedy just to intensify the cycle of it all and to give myself a new challenge. I'm unimpressed by most things (new music, new movies, etc) and I don't find many things to be exciting. I want something new in my life.

Every day we're told "the aliens are coming", "the earth is flat", "the elites are hiding something big", etc but nothing comes of anything. I'm feeling disappointed that this is all that life has to offer for me and I want more. I want an adventure. I want something new. I'm not depressed I'm bored.

Maybe I'm ungrateful. Maybe I've had it too good for too long. Maybe I'm just destined to live a mediocre life of "want". I don't know.

Has anybody else navigated this before? Thoughts?