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I'm new to mushrooms, probably done them 5-8 times now, with about 3 of them really being good trips. I was very anxious about them so I started at low doses, gradually taking more as I've gotten comfortable.
I recently got divorced, after 18 years, and I have 50/50 custody. I want to do mushrooms largely to heal from that relationship. It was toxic and had some emotional and financial abuse. I'm tripping every weekend when my daughter goes to her dad's. I sometimes trip with friends but mostly I want to do it alone. I feel like I can go deeper into my healing alone. But I'm also scared. My primary support person for the past 18 years is not available to me. What if I have a bad trip? I had a couple bad experiences with weed and he got me through them. I have multiple friends I can call on to support me, most of them have experience with psychedelics, but they also have kids and their own lives and might have work the next day, when I'm tripping when I can with my custody schedule. He was my most safe person and also my most dangerous person and I'm pissed that I have to figure this out without him, just like I'm having to figure everything else out.
I didn't trip much with 1 so I increased to 1.5, I did multiple things to get my anxiety under control first (weed, meditation, went for a walk, went for a drive, got in the shower, etc) I didn't eat all day in case that was a factor, I waited until it was dark when I feel most comfortable. Do I just need to do more? I'm getting the visuals, and some emotional realizations and having me a good grieving cry about my marriage , but I want more of an experience. But I'm also quite scared of having a bad experience. What are my chances of having a bad experience at 2 grams?
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