So, I wanted to share my year long experience for heroic dosing every week (with small tolerance breaks) for the whole year. I’m not going to explain every trip, and this was not a controlled experiment by any means since there several things involved which ill explain, but just wanted to share my experience as well as my recommendation. I know several wanted to hear my story and I'm always up for questions too. WARNING- This will be long but ill add a summary at the end. The point of this year long experiment was to push myself mentally in a realm that I couldn't go otherwise. I've pushed myself physically and mentally in a disciplined way, now I wanted to see what it would be as like I would have no control.

So about me first, I am in my late 30s and have a family. I am a long-time fitness enthusiast, and I maybe drink once-twice a year. I do (or did most the year, take steroids). I was never really a drug user except just trying a couple things in my twenties. Really got into taking mushrooms in my 30s and growing my own last year. I have an easy-going personality but have a tendency to burst out sometimes. I grew up with a harder life having a single mom and my fair share of shit happen to me. I am also not religious in any way but I do love learning about nordic gods.

In the beginning of the year I started this experiment. I was going to do a heroic dose 5 of mushrooms every Sunday morning with tolerance breaks sprinkled here and there. Typically the mushrooms were tidal waves being my favorite. My two locations were my trampoline in my yard or in my bed with my galaxy projector, sometimes with music sometimes not. The doses were anywhere from 5-9g either solid or in tea. I had it alone, with THC gummies, Syrian Rue, passionflower, or these mushroom gummies.

Every experience was different obviously depending on set and setting. In the beginning, I dealt with a lot of my trauma and things that happened to me but it was more of weight off my shoulders. I felt better unlike any therapy session could give me. It was like looking through all my pain in a different outside perspective and helped me process more of what apparently I needed to get over. I had my first "spiritual" experience seeing a "God or entity" of sorts. A tree God as I put it and the only way to describe it was I was inside a tree ball with gorgeous light (like in guardian of the galaxy with groot). There was a staircase that led to an "eternal place" but I could not climb it. Jokes were hilarious to me and my fiance was a great trip sitter in the beginning. She would fuck with me in a good way and I would refer her as my loki. She would make simple gestures or jokes or even repeat herself trying to mess me up. It was like playing mind games and always fun. I made a 4 hour long Playlist at this time and would listen to it and go on journeys. The music itself would guide my trip to different thoughts and views and even determin the visuals I had sometimes. Everything was great in the beginning. Every trip was fun and either came away with a smile or a lesson. In the first phase I did my only trip with lsd and mush. The trip itself, even with the high amounts I did, was actually mild. It felt like the different types of visuals were competing over each other. This is the only time I got trip paralysis as well. Thankfully I was just on my couch doing nothing and somehow got my hand on the remote so I could turn the TV on to get my head cleared. This phase I experienced probably most my time loops and time confusion and couldn't talk a lot before I would zone out. I was also caught talking to myself a lot and when asked, would not know who I was talking to. I think in the beginning the mush effects were most prevalent and I was not in control at all.

In the middle of the year I was getting a little more weight to the amount I took so started researching ways to make it more extreme. I added my fiances thc gummies in the mix first. I noticed music was SO MUCH BETTER during those trips. Visuals were less prevalent but I think it all focused on my ears. Next I tried passion flower. With this I noticed I thought about my mom and all the women in my life a lot more. I felt like I was getting a more maternal trip. It was really nice to think about family and things and memories of friends I long forgotten. Next I would try syrian rue. I'll be honest, this is not for the faint of heart. My most extreme trip was 4g of rue with 7g of nats. It was super extreme and I was incoherent a lot of the trip. The visuals were hard to comprehend and I was just rolling all over my trampoline acting like an idiot. To me, it was super fun and lost all control but to me, this is why I started it. I wanted to have the ability to lose control. I also noticed I CAN NOT listen to music with rue. It seemed high pitch and faster than normal. I could notenjoy it at all but funny enough since I was not listening to music, rue was the main times I would hear voices and things not there. I was noticing by the end of phase 2 as well my thoughts weren't as heartwarming. I was getting...I guess I'd call "rebellious"? I started thing of how the government was fucking us and the middle class will need to rise up, real rebellion type shit. Also time lapses would be more prevalent. For example, my fiance would come out and check on me, and I would start talking, but by that time she already left and its like my brain would catch up. My fiance mostly left me alone at this point. She would check on me every so often and hang out with me for short spurts but not the whole time or trip with me anymore. I was noticing though that I could temporarily "turn off" the trip. When she checked on me I could have a brief conversation with her just fine but as soon as she left I would dive right back in.

The third phase is where it got interesting. Again I'm a big gym guy and I was on gear up until now. So I stared my post cycle therapy around this time. Already I've gained a little weight but now I was packing on the bad type and my mood and my energy was going down. I wasn't going to the gym as often which was my main vice and I could tell it was bumming me out. I could tell this started effecting my trips. My trips were still fun but a little deeper and darker sometimes in a sense. I wouldn't say bad but not as great. Also, I only got sick during the times I took rue, but now I was puking or getting really nauseous almost any time I took mush. I would gag more but thankfully didn't puke every time. I did however had to clean my bedroom wall twice haha. I noticed I was kinda down more often than not and it was effecting my daily life. My work ethic through the year picked up actually but my free time kinda suffered. It's hard to explain the different shift in attitude on and off work.

This lead to my first ever bad trip. This was in November. Honestly this is the only trip I'll get in depth. So I "Blacked out" a lot like I would go into a complete dark room and the door would close and something would happen within. Once I was out I wouldn't remember what happened but I was cold and terrified like I went through something terrible. Just the "presence" around me would make me scared and sad and I was like.. this is where it ends, this is where I die. Even after my come down I probably stared at a wall for an hour just sitting silently not knowing how to process what I went through. I am impressed of all the times I've tripped, this is the only time it's been bad.

Yesterday was my last "experiment" for the year. This time I took 4 "mushroom gummies" and 6g of mush. Honestly, id say I wasn't impressed but I wasn't disappointed either. Unlike taking mush with thc gummies where I feel really chill and heavy, these made everything extremely colorful and crisp. I was laughing my ass off at a lot of things. Music was not that appealing to be honest and I didn't go "deep" into myself like I have before.

Lastly, all these trips were mostly done with tidal waves in the beginning and nats at the end. My advice if you want to grow your own, do natalensis. So much better than most and super easy to grow. You don't have to invest a lot of money and once you get going, it legit will pay for itself. So don't trust plugs or anything, just make your own stuff.

Here's my final conclusion to this. This isn't for everyone for sure. As fun as I had doing this, there was less "meaning" to the trips the further I went down. Id say i tripped 40ish times out of the 52 weeks. At some points I was just high and that's it, felt great sure, but you could do that simply with weed. If you're looking to push yourself to the extreme like myself, have a plan and an anchor point (such as music or a blanket etc) for yourself and do it safely. Personally, once a week was fun but I'm going to bump it up to once a month mostly. I feel that will be the perfect schedule and if anything I'll never take it with syrian rue again. Regardless, I firmly believe these are magical, should be used responsibly and enjoyed by all. Maybe someday they'll be accepted into the norm.