My GF is good with it, the kids are gone for a few days, I've been holding off for a while due to life, but today was it.... But I just have no ambition to do it now. I have no worry of a bad trip, I have all the opportunity, and when it was time, I just said "nah, not today" I'll see how tomorrow goes. Or maybe I'll drink a couple beers later and just do it (this is my preferred way as it settles the nerves while waiting for it to hit).... I know this is a pointless story, but I just wanted to vent a bit since this might turn into a few more months of wanting, but not doing.

Update: have made the decision to get my kids and gf a hotel for a weekend in September so that I will have the space and comfort I prefer. She was on board and is looking forward to it as a birthday celebration for her and her daughter