Hello friends! Just thought I'd share my experience so far. Overall I'm a pretty happy, successful person. However there's always been a dark side of me. Insecurities, occasionally crippling depression, dark thoughts, and just a generic happy person.

I started macro and microdosing approx 6-7 weeks ago. My first time doing it, I did about 3.5 gram dose. Probably the craziest experience of my life. Wow I was confronted with demons I've buried in my past. Things I've hidden away from even myself. Had these visions about my own life and it seriously felt like there was SOMETHING there communicating to me that "everything is fine, everything will be ok". It was incredibly scary and calming at the same time. For the first time maybe since childhood I felt hopeful for the future. I started microdosing shortly after, maybe 3 days later. The microdosing seems to help in a very small way. It seems to help with day to day stuff. I find that I'm not angry, small things make me happy. No road rage on the commute to work. I feel more productive at work. My conversations seem to flow a bit better (I'm in sales so it's natural anyway).

Fast forward a week after the first trip. I was not at all in a good state of mind. Last year I had a very bad breakup from the one I thought was "the one". This led to a very bad year of heavy drinking, heavy smoking (weed and cigs) and just a decline in health. On the night of the trip I had drank a pint of fireball in about 30 minutes. I started raging on how I hate the day to day of life. Started texting family and friends about how I couldn't take it anymore and I needed change or I was going to lose it. Got even more upset so went and got another pint of fireball and basically chugged it. Got upset with phony responses from friends. Literally felt like I was on the edge of completely breaking down. I was unsure as to why I was reacting this way, being as the first "trip" I had felt so successful and promising. I decided to take a handful of shrooms (not sure how much). Not sure really when it kicked in, as I was highly intoxicated, basically blacked out. When it hit me, it's like a switch turned on. It was an absolute living nightmare. All of my fears were right infront of me. Something in the background felt very disappointed in me. I started having these visions that I was killing myself. The drugs(only pot), cigs and alcohol were killing me. My mentality was killing me. I was killing myself. I started bawling my eyes out. I was shaking uncontrollably. All I could think of was my little daughter (great relationship with her, she has never seen me in my bad ways, I have her 50/50). Everything completely changed that night. I knew right then and there that I was done with everything bad in my life. It all hit me like a train. It was the worst thing ever I've ever felt. But it has been the best thing for me.

Fast forward to 3 weeks after that, the first week of this month (December obviously). I had to undergo emergency surgery. I've never been in the hospital or had any sort of health issues in my life. I'm 31. My appendix was bleeding, and was close to "exploding". I should mention that after the last trip I completely dropped all bad things in my life. Surgery went fine. It's been about three weeks since the surgery. Since the trip I have completely dropped alcohol, cigarettes and pot. I haven't touched fast food in 3 weeks. I've made my own meals from home. My mentality is the best it's EVER been. My body feels amazing. My mind is sharp as a razor and super responsive and back to my witty self. Confidence is at an all time high (asked a woman out who I've crushed on for quite awhile, we're going out soon). Things are significantly better.

Some people may say the surgery, which could have been fatal is what caused me to "change". I don't believe that. I don't even think it's necessarily the microdosing, although I do feel that it helps in a significant way. I honestly believe that the experience I had on that last trip has saved my life. It has completely changed my perspective in life. I now want to actually be the change I want to see in this world. I have a very renewed perspective on life and nature. I am happy and I cannot wait to do more things in my life. If you took the time to read this, thank you! If you're struggling in life and been curious about this world of mushrooms, do it! Take the leap and just do it, seriously. Much love everyone!