So I've been fucking myself with a nice dildo (Tantus P-spot) and I can fairly reliably get abdominal clenching / spasms. If I'm doing well, this clench forces out some watery precum and/or makes me squirt a bit of pee. The initial feeling is that of my asshole tightening up and pushing out, and then a tingling in the tip of my cock, but once I'm deeper into a session the pushing out changes to a general clenching. Once I feel the clench start, I start going hard and fast, but the result is a momentary release and then I'm tired and have to build back up again over some minutes.

I'd like to get up to the next level, where instead of having short clench-and-release spasms every once in a while, I'm having something that I could really call an orgasm - longer, better feeling than just tensing and relaxing muscles. I feel like what I'm doing now is about muscles more than nerves, if that makes sense. More bullying my pelvic region into giving up some mixed juices than getting orgasms.

What works for y'all? My response to the clench starting is to fuck myself faster and harder to try to get the juice, but should I instead be going less hard and letting that feeling build to something bigger? I hear about "wet" and "dry" orgasms, and would like to get to either or both of those instead of this milking thing. It's fun, but not amazing.