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My first LitRPG Magic System. Any critique would be appreciated
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Im only goign to keep this open for 72-ish hours or so before i delete it.

So I'm finally goign to start wiritng my first series! It's so exciting and terrifiyng at the same time. I've got most of the basics nailed down, my charcaters, the plot, the themes and tropes I want to explore. The only thing im a little iffy on is my system. You see I love litrpg's because they're like video games, but i hate how crunchy they mostly are. This is not a spiel, just what inspired me to mkae this system. The numbers have no frame of reference, some of the stats like intelligence don't make a lot of sense, numbers going brrrr, over abundance of skills to the point most are being forgotten. So i tried to make a system that resolved a lot of those issues

Here it is: an example of my main character's stats

Name Morgan Pierce
Race Human(Otherworlder)
Class Avenger
Level 1
HP 100 HP/sec 0.001%
SP 150 SP/sec 0.0015%
MP 70 MP/sec 0.0007%
Strength F7 Perception F7
Dexterity F8 Mentality E1
Constitution F9 Spirit E7

Sorry for how it looks, the table here on reddit isnt as forgiving as the one on Word.

Skills Perks Proficienicies

The levelitself is pretty straightfowrad its form 1-100 broken down into 5(6) realms:

  • Mortal: Levels 1-20
  • Elite: Levels 21-40
  • Champion: levles 41-60
  • Saints: Levels 61-80
  • Sovereigns: Levels 81-99
  • Gods: Level 100

Here are how it works:

  • Strength: The amount of force the body can exert at any given time
  • Dexterity: Reaction time, reflexes. and general coordination
  • Consititution: Body's toughness, total health, life span, and resistance to diseases and poisons, as well as physcial stamina
  • Perception: The 5 main senses, plus subtler senses like direction, temperature, time, and so on.
  • Mentality: How quickly you process and how long you retain information, mental fortitude, and mental stamina
  • Spirit: Magical energy stored and regenrated over time, as well as spiritual pressure (think conqueror's haki if at a high enough level)

Now the letters and numbers represents your stats: F-Ex represents what stage your abilities are at, and 0-9 represnts how advanced they are. For example if your consitution were at F0 you would have the toughness of a new born baby, where as if they were at F9 they would be at the level of a Pro wrestlers( those guys are tough!). Here's a benchmark average (physically wise) on on the stages so you can get an estimate:

  • F5: Ordinary Human
  • E5: Bears/Gorilla
  • D5: Yuji/Maki/Toji from Jujutsu Kaisen
  • C5: Homelander
  • B5: Viltrumites
  • A5: Superman/The Hulk/ Thor
  • Ex: I have no good frame of refernce for this one.

Now here is where it get's interesting. I tired to come up with a way to not give people too many skills, it was only after playing witcher that i got the idea. Everyone starts of with 5 skills no more or less, everytime someone moves up a realm they get another skill. Now that may seem a little limited but the good news is that skills can improve. The basic fireball can go through some interesting improvements, some are passive such as having a homing feature or taking half as long to cast. Some have active imporvements such as a explosive feature when it lands or a multi-cast allwing you to cast multiple fireballs at once. The more intresting things is that you can combines skills as well. Say you have a firball skill and a wind blast skill, you can combine them to create a fire tornado skill. and thats just two skills. If you have a skill that launches pebbles at the speed of a fast ball, combined with fireball, and windblast. You have a fire tornaod that spews slags of molten rock stright at you. But there is a caveat, with every skill you try and combine, it becomes more complex and harder to cast. With there being a high chance of failure.

You also have things like perks which provide nice passive bonuses after achiving certain things. For example if you headshot 100 different monsters you gain the perk [Headshot Hunter], all attacks to the head deal moderate extra damage. If you rescue an elven princess you gain the perk [Elevn Hero], all elves will be severly well disposed to you.

Proficines are just certain traits that can be improved with practice form swordsmanship, crafting, to even poison resistance.

That are the basics of my system, any ideas/critiques/imporvements would be appreciated. Please be kind this is my first system, Any criticism has to be contructive.

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2 months ago