Years ago when I was in college I worked at my dad's law office to make a little extra money. I enjoyed the work and enjoyed working with my dad on the daily. He was a nice man and generous to a fault. Sometimes so generous that people would take advantage of him, but he never seemed to mind.

This is a story of a time I minded though.

I was getting close to graduating and moving on when a new girl, Jessica, suddenly came on the scene. She was in a paralegal program at the local community college and needed hours in a law office for a class or something. It's been awhile, but the point is getting those hours was important to her completion of her class/program.

Jessica was interesting. She was in a paralegal program, but her main job at the time was working at a gentleman's club. That's where she'd met my dad while he was out enjoying the evening with some friends. She told her story, and that's how she ended up applying at his office. I don't judge for being a stripper. More power to her and there are many fine women and men in that profession, but it's important for later in the story.

I didn't think anything of it. She seemed a little standoffish but whatever. Things quickly started to get out of hand though. She'd cop an attitude with the full time and part time legal assistant on staff and act like she was the boss. She treated the fact that she was studying to be a paralegal as license to act like she was better than them because they didn't have degrees or certificates or whatever.

Me she just hated. I was in a weird in between place where I was doing the work of a legal assistant, but I was also the boss's son so I had a little more pull. The first time she tried to order me around I laughed in her face. When I found out what she was doing with the other people in the office, people I'd known my whole life who were like family, I put the kibosh on the whole thing and reminded her she was there doing work study and therefore the lowest on the very horizontal org chart.

She didn't like that, and I had a bad feeling about it all. I talked with my dad about my misgivings, but Jessica was young and my dad was a long divorced man who was a sucker for a pretty face and a hard luck story. She had both, and he figured she couldn't be all that bad after she was talked to.

That bad feeling I had didn't go away though. I knew something was up, but I couldn't prove anything.

Only Jessica had a LiveJournal. That's how long ago this was. I figured she might have posted something there, she'd told me her name, but when I went to check it out the thing was locked down and only her friends could see her posts.

Enter Tiffany. Tiffany was a dancer who worked in a club in a bigger city that was nearby, but not so close that Jessica would know the people who worked there. She loved dancing and loved meeting other girls who were in the profession. I know all this because Tiffany was me. More specifically the LiveJournal account I created to friend Jessica.

Sure enough she took the bait. Tiffany didn't even have any posts, but I don't think Jessica ever bothered to check. Either way I only needed access to her account for a few minutes before I found posts badmouthing everyone in the office. She went on about how she was a paralegal (she wasn't, yet) and knew more than everyone in that office (even the lawyer) and was smarter than everyone there.

Even more interesting were her plans to invite my dad back to her club so she could manufacture an incident and basically blackmail him with the threat of a sexual harassment lawsuit. For going to see her. At her invitation. At the strip club she worked at.

Not the brightest bulb in the apple bushel, knowhatimean?

I finally had the evidence I needed. I don't think her plan had much chance of succeeding. Dear old dad might be a divorced man who enjoyed the ladies, but he was hands off with anyone at the office. Not to mention blackmailing an attorney didn't seem like the best plan. Still, I figured it'd be best to nip this in the bud before it even takes off.

So I print everything off and hand over the evidence to my dad. He's understandably furious. He took a chance on this girl that a lot of people probably wouldn't have and she paid him back by treating his staff like shit and plotting to blackmail him. He calls her to the office then and there.

She clearly seemed nervous when she came in. I silently handed her the copies of everything I'd printed off and she knew the game was up. I had a shit eating grin on my face as my dad told her that her services were no longer needed and he would be in touch with her work and school.

When the gentleman's club was presented with evidence of what she was planning on doing to a client on their premises she was told they would no longer need her services either. When the community college was informed of what she tried to do she was told they would no longer need her as a student.

Don't fuck with my family.

TL;DR: Stripper "paralegal" plots to blackmail my dad. I discover the plot by dangling a big old catfish in front of her and she thinks "that bait looks delicious."