With risk of sounding mentally ill, here is my experience with my aunt's death that recently threw me for a loop. I don't claim to be psychic at all or to know the future at any point in time. But I've had some instances where I have a hard time explaining certain experiences away logically. Most recently for example, I had the craziest day on the 23rd of February 2020. That morning I worked, so I got ready for work and headed out. I looked over into the neighborhood behind mine while leaving my housing development. The whole road was blocked off with police tape, I was nosey and drove over to get a sneak a peek, but it was SERIOUS so I turned right around and went on my merry way. (My neighborhood was on the news that night for someone who died to gunshot wounds in the middle of the road while still in his car.) My regular route was a mess all the way to the freeway, so I deferred to a different route. So at this point I'm completely thrown off my usual schedule. I got off the freeway as usual. While driving down the usual street I use, I notice traffic starting to brake kinda hard. I'm using my brakes at this point. As soon as I can see why everyone is braking, I slam on my brakes and I can hear the dually truck much larger than my 4runner struggling to stop. The road is two lanes heading east. My options: I can either swerve onto the sidewalk, get rear ended, or hit the car to my left or.....hit the dog in front of my truck. I chose to hit the dog, but in that moment it seemed like everything slowed. The dog looked at me exactly how my dog looks at me at home when I call his name. My beloved pup's name is Finn and I love him SO much, literally cannot be in a bad mood around my Finn, he will not allow it. This dog was a slightly larger and darker version of my dog at home. So when I went to go pick his body out of the road, I lost it. His fur even felt like Finn's fur, so I was completely inconsolable at this point. Briefly I look up to my right, to the horse properties to the north of the road, I see the owners of the pup barreling around the back of their property looking for their dog. This lady comes running to the edge of the sidewalk and says "please tell me he's not dead"....all I could do was cry and apologize. The woman didn't cry and she didn't rush immediately to her dog, but to me in a state of hysteria. I said "I'm so sorry" and she said "not as sorry as we are" as she hugged me. I knew the dog was dead, there was no rise and fall of the chest, but it had started moving, and she said they needed to get going. I waved them off to go, but before they did, the lady grabbed me and gave me a little pep talk saying, "I need you to be okay before you get into that vehicle again" all while staring me in the eyes and to my core. I said I would be okay and to go care to their dog. But something about the way the lady looked at me while walking away with her dead dog in her friend/partner's arms will never leave me. It is haunting in a way, the woman looked at me with straight/pure pity. I live 30 min away from work so instead of going home like I wanted to do, I stayed in the area, pulled myself together after 2 hours and went to work. The WHOLE day I had this overwhelming feeling of death, like an irrational fear that death was imminent, that something near and dear to me was going to die. For obvious reasons, I didn't talk much with my clientele (I'm a barber). However, the one person I did strike up a conversation with was in the medical field. He is a nurse for the state mental hospital. I had mentioned to him my aunt who had recently been diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. I had mentioned her bout with mental health and her suicidal tendencies. I had mentioned my frustrations with my mom and uncle and their hesitation to get the authorities involved for fear my aunt would be institutionalized. I had stated something I had said numerous times to my mom and uncle which was "which is better, dead or instiutionalized?". This client told me about a similar situation with his uncle, and I explicitly said "maybe you should check on your uncle, and see how he's doing. I'll ask you how he's doing next time and I will remember to ask ! :)". I couldn't shake my feeling, and my aunt was on the back of my mind the entire day. I left work, almost got t-boned in the parking lot by a reckless driver flying through the parking lot, but I didn't. Fortunately, the night after that was uneventful, I went to bed finally, woke up the next day in a better mood. I had received a call from my friend/coworker the next day and we were talking about the previous day and everything. I had LITERALLY just got done saying how surreal the previous day felt. I said it felt like a nightmare, there is literally no other way to explain it. Not even 20 seconds later my brother comes into my room to tell me that my aunt had committed suicide the previous night. I have such a hard time coping with this when I think about it so I make a conscious effort not to think about it. This isn't the first time I've had something of this nature happen before but that was over 10 years ago. I'm just having a hard time coping and I feel like a crazy person. I guess all that being said....at what point does someone's "spirituality" make them mentally ill. Does it make me crazy to feel/think I might be sensitive in some kind of way?