Weeks went buy I went crazy checking myself for symptoms of HIV none appeared as week passed I studied myself more no sexual activities for a month then took a trip to visit my friend Lisa in little rock met another dude we made out nothing more left back to campus a week later 2 months passed still nothing got tested met up with a diesel trucker attempted to have sex but he was too big so we just jerked them he left a week passed I got a sore throat then a fever followed by night sweats knee pain and extreme dehydration I went to go get all std and HIV test at the clinic after waiting for my results to come back from the lab my HIV test was negative but I was positive for anal chlamydia and anal ghonorrhea some would be relieved but I was not ik the symptoms for hiv and i waited afterwards i started looking for a ltr partner but the hard part was I was mainly interested in older men and of course id get horny along the way so i only get active once a month if we did anal i made them rap it up. would get checked usually the week after I had sex and I temporarily calmed down still checking myself for symptoms. And now each test the last months were negative I went to uams to get started on prep and that's when my past come back to haunt me they found a HIV antibody in my blood I didn't cry nor was I shocked ik there was a sliver of doubt but as ik i iist didnt know i called the partners the one partner on prep and asked him to get checked he said he was ok asked what happened I told him and he was understanding thankfully and wished me the best of luck and said he's there for me if he's needed the uams said they'd have a follow up test to be sure and I just got the results today I deleted all dating and sex apps and stay isolated to the back of my room I haven't been able to start HIV treatment or anything the doctors in the room said I had a asymptomatic trait so it never was able to be detected by the other test leavese where I am today feeling alone and slightly scared and lost on what to do next they left me with a company number to call and said they'd help take care of me but didn't really walk me through what to do they said they were proud of me for getting checked and asking my partners to wrap up and said if I need anything call but they're only open til 5 monday-friday so umm yeah ....