Tw:Miscarriage & narcissistic abuse

I lost my baby July 2020...I miscarried silent & alone in the bathroom in the middle of the night with my ex husband sleeping on the couch. Silent because he said we shouldn't tell the other kids and our middle son was home at the time. My ex knew but couldn't be bothered to stay with me. The next morning on the way to hospital for the D&C he yelled at me for not communicating well and listening when he asked if I could drive myself.

I was told a few weeks latter that I had scored very high on post partum depression test. I started and therapy off and on but was focused on trying to keep going. I didnt take time off after I found out the baby had no heart beat or after the surgery since I started a high stress new job. The ex person ended up taking another woman on vacation 5 days after I miscarried while I was struggling to pay bills.

In the end, after the physical abuse, the emotional abuse the miscarriage and financial abuse I didnt break ties till December. I had believed pretty much everything he's said , the last of which that I couldn't do anything without him, I belonged to him and that I'm unstable but I'm finally getting help and trying to grieve my baby.

What I'm concerned about now is that my period has been missing since December. I didnt notice till mid February due to moving and getting a restraining order. Last time we were intimate was November so it could be possible but PCOS makes my period stop for months then start non stop for months too. All the tests are negative but I swear sometimes I think I feel movement. I'm afraid its some sort of post partum psychosis Since I haven't really dealt with anything...I just keep going like the energizer bunny. I did schedule an appointment but I'm afraid to tell the doc that I think I am...I don't have time for another mental break down. If anyone has dealt with the false idea of being pregnant after a miscarriage or post partum psychosis please respond. I'm scared I'm losing my mind.