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I stopped watching porn when my girlfriend and baby momma was holding out on me after delivering our son.
I was patient and understanding at first, knowing women suffer in many different ways after giving birth. But months went by and she was crude and dry to me; not showing me any affection and trying to gaslight me saying things like, "some couples go years without having sex again after pregnancy."
In an effort to get closer to her, and nurture her desolate state of mind, I gave up pornography in all forms and instead focused my sexuality on pleasing her. I masturbated only about her and fantasized about possible future escapades between us. I created a dialogue with her giving her space to feel sexy and share her desires with me.
Turned out, she had slept with another man 2 weeks before the one night stand we had had that got her pregnant. She was hiding the fact the kid wasnt mine. We got a paternity test, kid wasnt mine.
I stuck with the pornfree thing for 7 years. I focused on tantric masturbation, and distilling my fantasies to make myself more familiar with my desire. Also trying to "earn" self worth by being erotically desirable to the opposite sex.
🫣now its almost 9 years later. Still major trust issues, and self worth problems. Hypersexual. 30yro
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- 2 years ago
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