Hii redditers . I am from India and i am 20 years old. I am studying bsc mathematics 3rd year. I need some advice to improve my life as I will explain where it got worse. My father left my mother and my brother on my 7th grade. Since then my mother takes hindi tution for children and we live at our own house. I wasn't good at studying till 8th grade and made a decision to study hard on my 9 th grade as the following 10 grade is important for my whole life. I studied hard and got into best classes of the entire 10 grade where the pass mark is 70 . I studied so hard but I can't even pass in language. I got depressed . As I was a failure in my 10 grade I dint have many friends most of thought me as not one among them , they avoided me. Getting depressed one day I masturbated and I got addicted to it where I would masturbate 3-6 times a day. Which affected my studies a little at that time. It got worse day by day I thought lustfull thing about my family to masturbate as I didn't have any sort of devices (mobile , pc)to watch porn . I even thought lustfull about my mom and did that sin full act which I regret till this day. Things went on I got average marks (452/500)on my 10 grade. Moving to my 11 th grade my 10 grade marks werent enough to make the top class . I was in the average student class where I was happier and got friends. But that was the time where many students had smart phone at there home and started playing games like coc and pubg . Neither me nor my mom had no smartphone as she thought I will affect my studies. Things went on I passed 11 and 12 grade. I got (422/600) on my 12 grade. I wanted to study something related to biology or MBBS (Doctor). But my mother can't afford for that so I selected bsc mathematics as it will help me in to attempt for comparative exam like UPSC. I asked for a mobile phone to my mom and she denied . So I got a job in an bakery during my 12 grade summer holidays. I got a phone with my salary along with my mother giving some money . I quit the job. I enjoyed the time in for the rest my holiday with the phone. After the holidays the college started and regularly attended them unlike most of the students as it was government college. My friends of 11 and 12 grade joined different college and I lost touch between them . I didn't get along with my college Student for some reason , some had the habit of smoking and some thought too intelegent so they avoid me . I was alone again and I got addicted to the smartphone and porn . I got lazy and fat . I was very much active before that as I played batminton and cricket with my friends . Some time passed and started watching anime recommend by one of show off classmate. I got addicted to anime and hentai too. Then came the pandamic at the worst time. I spent the entire pandamic watching anime,insta, porn and hentai. I became an introvert and fatter as I layed on my bed for 2 years. My porn taste moved from women to little girl, animal and human sex,Granny and transgenders . As the pandamic is over now I wanted to prepare my self for the college studies and comparative exam. I tried to read for few min and I can't concentrate as my mind gets diverted to games ,porn and anime. I still masturbate 3-6 per day. If this goes on I can't get successful in my studies noe in my life . My mom wants me to become a civil servent as do I. She was right about me not having a smartphone as it will distract me , but now I got addicted to this and can't even pursue my goals. I failed to take care of my body (physically and mentally). I feel like a sh*t and I don't want to be like this anymore. I need to change myself do that I can get a good job to help my mom . She works so hard for us but I could bring myself to study . Can someone help me with any advice as I can't go for councling as we can't afford that. Thank you.