I’m very aware that any road of recovery isn’t straight and there will be set backs. Doesn’t make it feel any better.

I was 4 days no porn! I was happy with myself. I was making amazing progress on a new business idea and figuring out my life. Then I coincidentally ran into a friend I had a crush and sex dreams about. I have bpd so I had realized I trauma dumped and manipulated her to care about me. So that morning I sent her a text apologizing. We ran into each other at my old job where we met. And we talked, she was nothing but positive and respectful. I felt rejected tho. And in shock I was saying I wanted her to distance from me until she felt if we could be friends. Like that was huge.

Then later in the day, I got into an argument with someone on Reddit comments about you shouldn’t date someone at all with mental health. I was put into an anxiety attack.

So I reverted to what I would have always do. I watched porn, I sent out messages to men and women about hooking up and being their “slut”. Ugh I even paid for something with my dad’s credit card. That I lied about when he asked me about it (we’re not on great terms)

Anyway, I will recover. It’s just a hard set back. Appreciate the support. Thanks.