Hey everyone,

The good part: I’m a 25M in a triad with my two lovely partners, 25F and 25F. My wife and I have been together for 8 years, married for 3. We’ve been with our gf for a year and moved in with her a few months back. Gf was my best friend for years before it became romantic so we’ve already got a strong baseline connection.

The hard part: Mostly during my sophomore and junior year of high school, I was consistently SA’d by my mother, who had BPD, addiction issues, and multiple other mental health issues, multiple nights a week for years on end, nearly until I moved out at 18. I’ve been in therapy for a while now, and recently started to unpack that trauma, and while I think I’m doing well, the work is very emotionally draining. It’s been affecting my sleep, my appetite, and putting me in some pretty down moods (all of which my therapist affirms are normal steps in working through something so serious).

I told my wife about it years ago, but to date, she’s the only person I’ve ever told. Recently I’ve been finding myself wanting to fill my girlfriend in, especially because I think she’s noticed I’m going through a tough time and doesn’t know why, but I’m nervous to bring it up to her and I’m not really sure when or how to start the conversation.

Any advice on how to go about telling her? Any similar experiences with having to open up to a new partner about something like this? Thanks in advance everyone <3