Right now, my polycule is a closed V with me (37 AMAB) as the hinge and two metas, my wife (37F) and my girlfriend (38F).

My wife’s ‘why’ for this arrangement is that she recognizes that she does not satisfy my emotional and sexual needs, and she wants me to be happy. She recognizes that one person may not be able to be everything to a person; however, she feels that I am enough for her. Neither of us want to divorce.

My girlfriend’s ‘why’ is that she is my best friend, and I satisfy her both emotionally and sexually. She also feels that I am enough for her.

Despite accusations on Reddit, we never emotionally cheated and I was always transparent with my wife. One day we came to the realization that our strong feelings for each other had transcended the platonic. After which, I went to my wife to discuss a resolution, which included severing my friendship.

As for me, I am happy with them both. My wife is the mother of my daughter. We each comfort each other. She is the chief organizer of the household. My girlfriend and I can talk about anything, have the same interests/humor and both love to explore (e.g. places and sexually).

Our relationship is and will likely remain closed. If that changes, each is free to leave. We’ll likely become polygynous in the future.

This structure and the relationship start does not appear to be accepted within the polyamory subreddit. The concepts of forming a family from said structure and having less freedom to have outside partners are not accepted either. Are these acceptable here? I am trying to understand where I fit within consensual nonmonogamy.