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Like Louie C.K. said "abortion is either like taking a shit...or it's murder."
Yes it's absurdly reductionist, but he has a point (which is why it's funny). Whether that fetus is the product of rape/incest, an accident, or a planned event, the moral value of that fetus has not changed.
If you oppose abortion because you believe it 's murder, then giving any credence to the rape/incest exemption would imply that murdering a child who is the product of rape/incest is not immoral either.
If you support abortion rights then the rape/incest exemption adds nothing to the issue for you, beyond making you furious that the Fundies would try to force women to carry these pregnancies to full term...but you're probably furious about ALL pregnancies being forced to full term against the woman's wishes.
I'm NOT saying that we need to remove these exemptions from the books so that more women are forced to give birth, I'm saying that the exemption itself is an emotional appeal that doesn't help resolve the issue in any way beyond raising peoples' blood pressure. In any event, the rape/incest issue should not move the needle for anyone.
The technical difference is that a fetus cannot be removed from the womb prior to ~20 weeks because its lungs have not yet developed to the point where it will survive and an actual child can be cared for by anyone.
I think it's nonsensical to compare a fetus to a child.
A child can be cared for by others, a fetus cannot.
In the abstract, you're right. In the academic, thought experiment sense it's valid to point out that these exceptions shouldn't mean that much for people (though I think it's a little disingenuous to say that if you support an exception that you also should think killing a child that's the product of this type of violence is ok) but I think it ignores the visceral reality for people in these circumstances.
The world is not a thought experiment and I think it's possible to recognize the horror of forcing someone to go through a pregnancy that's the result of this kind of interpersonal violence and then having to live with the results of that process for the rest of their lives.
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The fetus can't survive outside the body on its own. It is not a human being at that point.