As many of you might now, the Portuguese Eurovision winner gave a wonderfully pretentious speech where he completely trashed the rest of the entries. So, if you feel like making a quick comic before this becomes irrelevant again, I turned the speech into a script:

• Portugal standing there with the Eurovision trophy: "I want to say..." [transition to other scenes overlaid with the speech]

• "...we live in a world of disposable countries..." - civil war South Sudan with a sign that says "Warning: Becomes a failed state within three years of independence!"

• "...fast-food countries without any culture..." - USA with fast food wrappers, grease stains and MAGA hat says: "NASCAR is culture."

• "...and I think this could be a victory for countries and continents that give rise to countries which actually mean something..." - proud EU is shown with levitating/glowing Vatican who says "Don't masturbate."

• "...countries is not fireworks..." - Syria is thrown around in an explosion

• "...countries is feeling!" - cut back to Portugal who is proudly raising the trophy in triumph

• Spain comes around: "You are shit rectangle and should feel like shit."

• Portugal is looking down sadly.