"Chemical Spiral"

It starts with the urge to let it all go,

to quiet the chaos, to soften the blow.

I tell myself it’s just for today,

but the storm inside won’t stay away.

Substances blur the edges of pain,

a fleeting relief, but never a gain.

Each sip, each drag, a moment of peace,

then back to the spiral that will never cease.

I see the path, I know its cost,

how every step leaves more of me lost.

But the pull is strong, the need is deep,

it lulls me back when I try to leap.

I call it freedom, but it’s a lie,

another chain I can’t defy.

Each escape is a weight, a debt to pay,

another piece of me stripped away.

Destruction feels safer than standing tall,

Better to burn myself down

than let life tear me apart.

At least this way,

I’m in control of the collapse.