Talking to doctors so many times,

It's nerve wracking and wipes away my smiles.

Being overwhelmed with information about mast cell tumors,

And then they say it has metastasized.

Doing the math - "How much does it cost and how many months will it add?”

Thinking about how much pain and suffering my sweet one can stand.

Getting details on outcomes of other cases,

And being torn between difficult choices.

Taking a gamble and trying everything to prolong a life while draining what's left in the bank account?

Or resigning to comfort care and foregoing treatment when in doubt?

Grappling with the reality of budget limitations.

Going through procedures and worrying about possible complications.

Others say a lot about my nightmare,

But they don't actually care.

All it does is make me feel neglected and aware

That those who interact for genuinely unselfish reasons, those who actually listen and provide appropriate support, are extremely rare.

Faith in humanity shrivels, no longer wanting to share.

Sinking into further despair.

Empathy and support as one grieves is in short supply.

Life is a cruel joke, that I can't deny.