I was Facetiming with my mom earlier tonight. Normally we talk and go out a lot but everyone got covid, she and my dad were really knocked out by it, and I was pretty sick too. So she finally just saw my pictures from the soiree, and she said "Where did you get that dress? [J Crew.] It looks beautiful on you! [I almost gasped, she said in was beautiful ON ME, not just "it's a beautiful dress"!!]

When I told her everyone was talking to me, saying a lot of people because of the cool Betsey Johnson owl purse I was carrying, and she said, "No, they were talking to you because you looked beautiful! You are shining, your dress fits you perfectly, look how much you smiled! You show so much confidence! [This is insane coming from my mom, ok? Just trust me.] Your hair looks great! [I recently started my journey back to my natural hair after 20 years of abuse straightening it, it's been ... difficult to predict.] No wonder people were talking to you!"

When we hung up, I almost cried. My mom made ZERO critical comments. That never happens. On one hand, she is "only" passively fatphobic, if that makes sense. But on the other hand, and this is the worst thing she has ever done to me by far, when I got a needed breast reduction, she insisted I get lipo. It fucked up my stomach so bad, it's lumpy and misshapen. It's embarrassing.

I love her dearly, she is an amazing human, and I wouldn't want no one else to be my mom, but she's hurt me big time with her fatphobia, which she has told me she is working on. Everything she said today felt like healing, both my feelings and little cracks in our relationship. Wow, mother-daughter relationships are complicated!

(Please excuse any typos or weird syntax, I'm baked.)