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Feeling self-conscious in my relationship
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I (27F) have always been bigger since I was younger but really gained weight when I went to university. Since then I have felt more and more insecure about my body and have had several unsuccessful diet attempts (unsurprisingly).

I have however over the years started to care less most of the time what people think about me. I generally can make friends and socialise with people well and I have noticed more and more that people generally don't care what size I am (I am lucky that I am around a size 16-18 UK size at the moment and 5"6' so not generally inconvenienced in day to day life other than feeling larger than average for my age).

The only place I still have some insecurity is my relationship. I met my bf (25M, slim-ish) around 2 years ago. He is always very supportive, always tells me that I am beautiful and pretty etc and never makes me feel bad about my weight. We are however very open with each other about if we ever have any physical attraction to other people and about our ex's etc and through these various data points I know I am not his type. I have brought it up with him before and he has tried to reassure me that who I am is more important to him that what my weight is or what I look like. I am secure and sure he loves me, I just worry that I am not fulfilling everything he needs in a relationship as he is a very sexual person and he has admitted when I have pushed him that he is not always attracted to me 100% of the time.

I'm not 100% sure what my question is but was just looking for some reassurance that I am doing the right thing believing him that I am enough for him despite not fulfilling his sexual tastes. We do have regular sex, it's not that we are platonic in any way, I just feel that it could be better if I was more of his ideal visually. I do want to make some lifestyle changes for my health long term but absolutely do not want to go back to yo-yo dieting. I have considered therapy for my self esteem but unfortunately I feel like this is not very accessible in the UK, especially for something like this which isn't necessarily a mental health issue or a specific hard time I need help to work through

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2 years ago