I [35F] have on and off wanted tattoos for about 15 years now. I used to tell myself I'd get them when I lost weight but that is not a healthy mindset for me. As my therapist has pointed out, I have many "rules for me but not for thee," meaning I hold myself to some higher standard than I ever would other people I do or do not know. I have been trying to consume more media that depicts fat bodies with tattoos, and in general I do like how they look even if a specific tattoo isn't my style. At the same time I feel too fat and too ugly to "deserve" a tattoo. Has anyone worked through this or something similar? I am working on a more neutral acceptance of myself and my body in therapy currently, but I am not very far along and it is a long road to change a lifetime of negative thoughts.

Any recommendations or thoughts are welcomed and appreciated.