He y’all it’s me again, the new planet zoo DLC is out and I decided to go back and rank all of the DLC animals that have been introduced. If you all recall I ranked all of the DLC animals both before and after the conservation DLC, but in the few months since its release, I have learned a bit more about these animals and my opinions have changed. So I’m doing this again, now including the twilight DLC, and (to spice things up a bit) I will also be including the deluxe edition animals, it’s questionable weather or not these should count as DLC animals, hence why I didn’t include them in the last one, but after giving it some thought, they are additional content that you have to pay for that aren’t part of the basic version of the base game so I’m going to count them for this ranking (there’s only three so if you don’t like it it’s not a massive deal anyway) with that being said, on with the ranking (let's hope reddit doesn't fuck with the numbering like it did my last one)

1. Malayan tapir: if y’all remember the previous rankings I put the dingo at the bottom, but I think a bit more highly of dingos nowadays, however, the Malayan tapir, while cool looking, was the most blatant reskin in the entire game, being a straight up palette swap of the Baird's tapir, all the way down to its bugs and glitches. The fact that this made it to the bottom kind of shows how my feelings have become a lot more positive as of late

2. Cuvier’s dwarf caiman: this animal kind of feels obsolete and outclassed, why to pick this caiman when we now have the spectacled caiman, I think they could have been a bit better with this pick for the aquatic pack, considering all of the others that were included in the aquatic pack were real show stoppers, now this just feels like a filler animal, and not even a particularly great one at that.

54-50: Thompson’s gazelle, fallow deer, alpine ibex, Nile lechwe, and Dall sheep: this is the category I like to call the “mediocre hoofstock category” they’re all perfectly fine hoofed mammals that I can’t for the life of me find anything interesting to say about them. They’re perfectly fine, they’re serviceable, they’re inoffensive, and they’re mostly boring. If I were to rank them from my least to most favorite they’d be dall sheep, because finding a figurine of the thing IRL is borderline impossible. The Thompson’s gazelle, Nile lechwe, and Fallow deer (in that order), because they at least look nice but are the most boring of the lot. And my favorite of this block of hoofstock is the alpine ibex, simply because they get their own goat mountain that is actually really cool and I hope other animals like the snow leopard can use it in the future if they can’t already.

1. Prwzalskis’s horse: what puts this one above the rest of the hoofstock is that it at least is a bit more unique, all of the former felt like they could be interchanged with each other based on what type of zoo you were making but the horse can really only be compared to the zebra and I think the two are distinct enough from each other. The horse is a mildly more interesting hoofstock, but doesn’t have as much of a WOW factor that other DLC animals do

2. The babirusa: the only pig added in any DLC, which is a shame considering how many cool pigs there are out there. I don’t rate it super highly as babirusa’s are most well known for being dicked over by evolution because of their Achilles heel tusks. If it were me adding a southeast asian pig, I would have liked the pot-bellied pig a bit more, not that these are bad, I just have a preference to other pigs.

47-44: the llama, wild water buffalo, scimitar oryx, and reindeer: capping off the boring hoofstock block we have the ones I rate the highest, the reason being is that they come a bit closer to a secret desire I’ve had for a long time, domestic animals, these four are probably the closest we’re going to get to that at least for awhile. The llama is the only one that’s a proper domestic, the water buffalo and reindeer are partially domestic, and the scimitar oryx, for awhile could only be found in captivity so it’s kind of a grey area. If I hade to go from least favorite to favorite, they’d be the oryx, followed by the reindeer, then the water buffalo, and the llama is my personal favorite of the boring hoofed squad

43-41: the dingo, dhole, and arctic wolf: this group is pretty much the “wolf clone” segment, as they’re all just reskins of the timber wolf. But they don’t even have the howling gimmick the timbers do (or do the arctic wolves get it too? Even if they did it doesn’t change much). They’re very close to the hoofstock for me, as they’re basically the predator equivalent. I mentioned before how I used to really hate on dingos because it was questionable whether they counted as a native Australian species, but upon doing more research I realized that they fill the much needed role of an apex predator in the region and actually do help the environment a bit so consider this my apology to the dingo…it’s till kinda mid. If I had to rank them I’d go from the dhole, to the dingo to the arctic wolf

40-38: the foxes: barely higher than the wolves are their smaller relatives. I don’t really rate foxes all that much, I don’t hate them but they still seem like filler animals to me. Which they’re probably meant to be, but still I’m just not going bananas over them. If I had to rank them they’d be the fennecc, arctic, and red fox

37: the binturong: I’m very conflicted about this animal, on the one hand seeing them in real life makes you realize how majestic they are, but in-game they don’t really capture the same majesty that real-life ones do. Insead of these slow, regal, calm animals…they’re big squirrels. Speaking of squirrels these guys breed like hell HOLY SHIT I look away from their enclosure for like 5 minutes and suddenly there’s like a few dozen of em, it’s ridiculous. Also, I got scammed out of 40 dollars from somebody claiming to be selling a figurine of one and I will forever be salty about that >:(

36: Eurasian lynx: this is another case of the animal not being as majestic in-game as they are IRL, on top of that we’re entering what I call the “woody category” animals that are good on paper but just get outclassed by others in terms of enjoyment.

35/34: European badger and stripped skunk: two black and white burrowing animals that I personally view as mid. I’ve mentioned before how the Europe pack felt pretty mid when it came to its animal choices (hell this is the highest-rated Europe pack animal on this list) and nothing spells it out more than having a badger as the headliner, I guess its the coolest of the true badgers, but to me the false badgers are a bit more interesting (I’m talking about the American badger and ESPECIALLY the honey badger), the Europe pack had a ton of potential wild boar, chamois, barbary macaques, white storks, iberian lynx, pallas cats, walrus…oh wait nevermind that last one I’d assume Norwegians wouldn’t be a fan of it (was that joke too soon?). As for the skunk, it’s most well known for spraying things with it’s tail, which I don’t think it does in game, in zoos in real life they’re very active and playful, but these guys, from what I’ve seen about them, are really aggressive so they lose a bit of that cute factor they could have

33: specticled caiman: yeah this one is much better than the dwarf caiman for me, it’s a lot cooler to look at and is my caiman of choice whenever I have to pick between the two

32: black tailed prarie dog: I feel like they could have done a bit more with the tunneling with these guys, sure they can go into small burrows, but these guys can make massive tunnel systems in the wild and I wish that could be replicated better here, I notice that they do dig underground a lot, perhaps make them able to make their own burrows, like allow them to use the pre built one as a starting point and allow them to dig anywhere within their enclosure from there. The only reason I bring this up is that I recently went to a zoo where their prairie dogs built their own tunnel system and it was fun to watch them poke in and out of their various holes, seeing where they connect.

31: clouded leopard: my main issue with this one is that it looks too…cartoony. It’s the only animal that looks distracting to me, it mostly comes from it’s face which looks a bit too much like a furry for me to look at it right. I think it might be the eyes to me, they look a bit like a mix of human eyes and leopard eyes. Maybe it’s just me but they just don’t look right to me

30: the capuchin: it sure is a monkey isn’t it…..that’s like all I have to say. For being our only new world monkey its not a bad choice, it’s just a bit too safe for me. I hope in the future we can get spider monkeys, as I think they’d look awesome on the metal climbing frames that we got in the conservation pack

29: meerkats: they’re pretty good, I like how they were implemented, they stand upright which is neat, they form little bands, they’re perfectly fine.

28: amur leopard: capping off our outclassed tier as well as the lower half of the list we have the leopard. I just already have everything I could ever want with other cats, the leopard is here more for completions sake rather than being it’s own unique entity. We’re halfway there bois, thanks for reading this far if you have

27: raccoon: they’re cute, they climb a lot, they look cool, they’re smart, they’re not too much to write home about when it comes to planet zoo. They just kinda vibe, the twilight pack is kind of a wired case where the best animal in it is the exhibit animal and everything else is just kinda mid

26-24: giant otter, sun bear, and proboscis monkey: these three are just goofy looking and I love them for it. The giant otter is really cool to watch and paved the way for a certain other otter later down the line. The sun bear might be one of the goofiest-looking animals alive and god bless them for it. To get a bit more serious with the proboscis monkey, I remember somebody complaining in the comments of one of the last posts about how they didn’t like animals like the P. monkey and platypus because they aren’t found in European or american zoos. Which to that I say, the game is called PLANET zoo, not US and EU zoo simulator. If I were to rank them individually they’d go from the monkey, to the bear, to the otter

23: the american beaver: they’re just chill little lads, go and watch em work on their dams, and get yourself some free relaxation. They’re kind of in the outclassed tier but I like them just a bit more for how damn cute these little bastards are.

22: american alligator: the superior of the DLC crocodilains in my book, American alligators just tip off all of those boxes in my primate brain to tell me that they’re a prime specimen of a creature. Not to mention one of the greatest conservation success stores ever just to add a pit of seasoning to this beefcake.

21: cougar: now this is an animal who’s true majesty was not lost in translation from IRL to video game, these creatures look just at menacing in-game as they do in real life. They don’t need any fancy spots or gimmicks, they’re just all-terrain WEAPONS!

20: red crowned crane: I’m surprised I rate the crane this highly, maybe I’m just so starved for birds in this game that I take what I can get. Which is why I’m going to use this segment to hype up the bats instead, I got nothing to say about the bird, it looks cool. But speaking of birds, the fact that we have bats and walk in enclosures is a god damn godsend and I can’t wait to see how it is expanded upon in future DLCs, AVIARIES HERE WE COME!!!!

19: pygmy hippo: you can tell the marketing team really thought about which animals were worth rinsing a few extra dollars out of consumers, pygmy hippos are like regular hippos but slightly less…killy. Which, even though I like normal hippos slightly more, I still appreciate their stubby, more awkward looking cousins

18/17: cassowary and giant anteater: a pair of absolute DEMONS! They’ve got sharp claws, short tempers, look awesome, and are ready to FUCK SHIT UP! Seriously, if this game was realistic the keepers would need to be armed with combat shields in order to even think about stepping into the enclosure with them. Turns a causal day at work into a couple of rounds in the ring with temperamental butcher knives with questionable vision. On a more serious note, I like how the anteater has a termite mound to mess with and I wish animals like the aardvark and sun bear could mess with it as well

16: komodo dragon: one of the most badass looking animals in the entire game, it doesn’t need the flashy colors of bushy tail of the last two. It just needs you, itself, and a quick round with your soul. At least the last two will leave something to bury, the komodo will make sure all that’s left to bury is memories

15: koala: speaking of complete demons, we have the scariest of them all. Oh? You think these are just cute and cuddly little not bears? Risky mistake my friend, because those not bears will turn into drop bears in an instant and fuck up any dumbass teenagers who think it’s a good idea to try and manhadle them (if you know you know) beings so force they put up more of a fight that actual crocodiles. Fucking Austrailia man you can’t trust shit

14: moose: you that’s right the moose isn’t with the boring hoofstock squad, damn right the Canadian landlord is top 15 material. It’s got a lot of the things I’ve mentioned already. It’s majestic, and that majesty isn’t lost in translation into game form. It’s an absolute WEAPON. Plus they’re unique in that they’re the most aquatic of the deer species.

13: red kangaroo: of all the animals I’ve interacted with in my life, kangaroos might be the ones that I have the most memories with, from seeing the pure joy on my mother’s face from getting hugged by one, to the sheer terror I felt when I had to fight one. Red and Grey kangaroos will always have a place in my brain and my heart

12-9: grey seal, california sea lion, king penguin, and african penguin: all of these pretty much share the same reasoning, they’re all underwater, aquatic spectacles. Watching penguins and pinnipeds swim is one of the most fun things one can watch at a zoo. They look like they’re enjoying life all the time. Not to mention I have a fair share of memories with these animals. From interacting with a Sea lion at Atlantis to getting the privilege of petting a king penguin at some place I wish to not remember. If I had to rank them individually I’d go from the African penguin to the grey seal, then the king penguin, and finally the California sea lion. Not the most climactic way to break the top ten but still, we’re almost to the top

8: asian small clawed otter: you might be wondering why I rate these so much higher than the giant otters. There’s two main reasons. One, they’re really really cute. And two, it makes me unreasonably happy that they get interspecies enrichment from orangutans

7: white rhino: about as iconic of a zoo animal as you can get, to the point where this should have been in the base game. An animal so majestic….that we can’t help but kill them for phony cancer pills. Just an awsome animal that you really can’t go wrong with

6: common wombat: you’re damn right the wombat is this high. God was assigned to design an absolute unit and made these legendary creatures. An animal that kills predators…and cars, with its ASS, what a bloody legend. Slap the lads on they ass and tell em they’re doing a good job making burrows for the creatures of the outback

5: jaguar: I put the amur leopard in the woody territory, and this animal is why. The amur leopard and jaguar are the animal representation of the virgin and chad meme. You got the virgin leopard, who has to climb trees in order to not have to pay taxes and then the chad jaguar, who claims those taxes in the first place. The virgin leopard can climb but not much else, meanwhile the chad jaguar can climb, swim, run, and yeet itself over Trump’s wall. The virgin leopard’s black color morph is recessive, while the chad jaguar’s is dominant, because the Jaguar is the true dom of any big cat section

4: polar bear: like the rhino, this animal really should have been in the base game, hell I think the only reason it’s not is because there’s no way people would have bought the arctic DLC without it, look at me in the eyes and tell me the dall sheep was the reason you bought this pack, you can’t. The polar bear is the powerful, majestic, killer of the arctic, one of the only animals to see humans as prey

3: the capybara: ok I pull up

2: siamang: I have a lot to say on the siamang, first off they brought the metal climbing frame with them, which I absolutely adore, and they look great of course. But my main reason why I like them so much is my experiences seeing gibbons in zoos in real life, hearing their calls is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced, and while they weren’t siamangs specifically, it’s given me a newfound appreciation to gibbons as a whole

1: platypus: it’s 2:21 AM and I’m reaching the finale of my ranking. And yes, just like before. It’s still the platypus. When the wetlands DLC came out the game felt complete to me. The platypus was the last animal I truly wanted (until bats came in and broke down the door to new possibilities) but if the wetlands DLC was the last one, I would have been happy. There’s something about platypi that just delight me, from their goofy appearance to their dangerous venom, to how agile they are underwater. Platypi are easily one of my favorite animals of all time. And the fact that they made it into planet zoo brings a smile to my damn face. Thank you all for reading this. Even if you may not like some of my opinions I’m very happy you made it this far. Have a good day and let me know what you think, I love to hear y’all’s thoughts on these animals