July 28

A snippet on why I love you

I can write this essay and it may continue forever. But for the sake of literature, I am writing this with a dot at the end because that is what life is. Ironically, the title suggests this is a snippet of what I feel about you, but it will never be short, brief, and concise. Loving you means a lot of things and I learned those things after you were gone. It is incredibly amazing how fast the mood and situation change. But I am more than glad that I met you and I am more than glad that you made my life one amazing ride. You’ll forever be my favorite person and I can guarantee it. 

The thing is, I know deep inside my heart that I could never move on from you. You are too special to move on, you are too beautiful to forget, you are too amazing just to be put on a shelve and be forgotten. Everything about you is one beautiful piece of art that I’ll forever love. You are equally amazing, nay, more than amazing than me in every aspect that there is. I can speak for hours on just how beautiful you are and it will never be enough.

So I am writing this because once again you flood my mind as if it is a river fast flowing from a drizzle from the mountain. You are a glacier crashing to the earth, an iceberg separating from the shelf, a continent breaking, creating an earthquake so massive it shook the earth. You are poetry, art, music, and everything that gives harmony in this dark cruel world. You are the most amazing thing ever created by God. Damn, I am overwhelmed by the shape of your face, the smell of your hair, the beauty of your smile, and that small mole beneath your eye, I am forever overwhelmed by you.

And It hurts me so much that I cannot see you walking down the aisle and approaching me. Because I know, if I see it, I’ll be crying, bawling, weeping every tear that I have because I know you’ll be the most amazing, beautiful bride that’ll ever graze my lifetime. It hurts me.

I wanted it to be you. But I have to let you go and let you be you. The thing is, I love you so much and everything that comes with you that I do not care anymore if I do not belong to your life because that is what love should be. I am so in love with you that all I want is nothing but bliss for you. 

I read this article earlier about a woman going back to her ex the day before her marriage. She loves her ex so much that she decided to leave her fiance for him. And the fiance left her so she’ll be happy. For a moment, I thought I was the ex waiting for you to come back, but I soon realized I needed to be the fiance, giving you the happiness that you need. 

But all I can promise you, in this little snippet of my love for you is whether you are divorced, old, and not the same person I’ve loved before. I know I’ll always fall in love with you in every lifetime there is. So with an open heart and an open mind, I’ll let you go to be happy, but I’ll always leave a room for you in my heart, with your photo on it. I have loved you before, and I’ll always love you.