first off i wanna say sorry that i ghosted you. im going to admit it it was an ass move instead of telling you why i did it. i wasnt brave enough to tell you. maybe i was afraid you'd leave if i told you anyways. i mean, i was always the one who got ghosted. maybe this time i left first because i didnt want you to leave me first.

but something shifted, right after you told me we should stop talking. it hasnt been even 2 months since we talked, but it killed me to know it was that easy for you. it was hard for me to ever think that we would have an ending. i gave in but failed in a day because even if i dont want to force people to do something they dont want to, i didnt want to lose you too.

after what i thought was hell in 24 hours, i honestly felt something shift, i saw you in a different angle and the rose colored glasses fell off. what happened to us? i had you back but at what cost? i had you but i was close to losing myself. i almost felt like time traveling when i saw my future self. i couldnt be with someone who doesnt see a future, with me at least. so i removed you from all my socials, deleted the text messages. it'll help me get over you. well at least i thought it would. i'd find myself looking for you in the things we shared, jokes we could've laughed about, and the people we could have been.

it hurts me that i did you dirty. it hurts me that even if i chased you when you left me, you didnt do the same.

but it hurts me even more that even after all the things said (and unsaid) and done, you didnt even get to tell me your name.