I am terrified of needle. Always have been. Whenever I had to get a shot (vaccine) when I was a kid it was always a pain, I cried and bolted. And then at 10 I got 2 different issues in my knee that I won't go into detail because it's not very clear to me what it was and I don't want to start explaining it in a tongue that's not my mother tongue. Anyway I had to get shots of calcitonin. Once a week for 5 weeks. And let me tell you it was the worst experience of my life. The injection itself got me screeching in pain. See, the shot has to be done intramuscular and the product felt like it was burning from the inside. And the ensued 24 hours of weakness and sickness. I couldn't hold anything in my stomach, had to lie down because I didn't have any balance, my head was spinning. It was truly awful. So here I was, at 10 years old, terrified of needles and having my parents holds me down so the nurse could inject me with that awful product that made me sick. Terrible experience.

And now here I am 15 years later, I can't go alone to a blood draw because I know I won't let the nurse touch me if I don't have someone to hold me down. Writing this, thinking of it makes me cry. I know there are therapies to work on your fears, but I'm not ready to do it yet.

On the other hand I have 3 tattoos and plan on getting more. The first time I was anxious about my fear of needles but I realised I was handling it. And I don't understand why my brain make a difference between a shot and a tattoo. I mean, it's basically needle injecting you with something...

I don't really know why I'm writing this here. I just needed to talk about it.

Also, sorry if I don't make sense, English is my second language and I'm tired.