/u/decadentrebel

My girlfriend lost her iPhone earlier so I immediately launched Find My iPhone and deduced that it was left in the cab because it was moving rather quickly. Tried everything from playing sounds and Lost Mode to even calling it (someone answered but wasn't saying anything).

Fortunately, she rode the cab (TYL 726) from an Ayala Mall and she had those slip things and called the cab company (NORLY) who asked her to call back after 5 mins. Shortly after, I heard a car horn outside. I was so happy all I could do was shake the man's hand and thank him profusely. My girl told me to stop him because she was going to pay him but it was too late.

/u/redkinoko

Friend: How do you make crushed ice without a blender?

Me: Make regular ice, put it in a glass bowl, leave it for 5 minutes, and then whisper to it: "Hindi ka nya mahal kasi may iba syang gusto."

Crushed ice.

/u/redkaku

Tom: Hi, Lola. Pinapunta po ako ni Nanay para kunin yun kaldero.

Lola: Ganun ba? Oh sige sandali ha kukunin ko lang. Mario, andito pamangkin mong si Tom!

Mario: Uy Tom, ikaw na ba yan? Ang laki mo na ah. Nagka-college ka na ba?

Tom: Opo Tito

Mario: Anong kinukuha mo?

Tom: Yung kaldero po ni Nanay

/u/nekeneng

Date when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

/u/guywentincognito

Nay, abogado na ako!!!!!!!!!!

EDIT: Salamat sa lahat!! Pasensya dito ko pa pinost. Wala akong social media accounts eh. Have a great day sa inyo!! Goodvibes!!!!

/u/supersiege

Growing up with a solo parent isn't easy. My mom's a single mother, but raised me well and I am deeply affected with Tito Sotto's shameless statement about single parents. So insensitive.

This gov't is a laughing stock with these kind of officials. Pakyu po

/u/sabinijo

"So when people leave, I’ve learned the secret: let them. Because, most of the time, they have to.

Let them walk away and go places. Let them have adventures in the wild without you. Let them travel the world and explore life beyond a horizon that you exist in. And know, deep down, that heroes aren’t qualified by their capacity to stay but by their decision to return."

— Isa Garcia

/u/TheReimuA

Date report, kappa.

Background: I accidentally asked a girl out. Didnt back off and i had seen this as a TIFU, and uh..guess what..it's a fuck up. We exchanged contacts that day and we had agreed to have a "tara aral" date instead of "an after exam" date. All seemed fine not until last night.

Let's skip to the part where I am cooking at her place so we can have something to eat for dinner (kasi raw, "all nighter")

As I continue to to cook, I noticed that her phone kept on ringing and she wasn't answering any of it. She insists that those were prank calls. She then "misplaces" the phone in the kitchen and goes out for a breather.

Phone rings, contact name was "Boyfie <3". Di ko sinagot. Hahaha. Tameme.

I lament at my decision as in what in the actual fuck?????? , better finish cooking before I leave. Sayang din yung ginataang kalabasa saka fried chicken

But before I noped the fuck out, she was back. She asks me why I am packing up.

Her: Sayang food uy. May emergency ba? Aalis ka na?

Me: Emergency yung boyfriend mo, mahirap makipaglandian sa may shota. Sige una na ko

Pause, she tightly holds my hand

Her: Uhm.... Uy pasado! Hahahaha!! (Napakabilis magisip ng rason) It's a test to see if you are immoral.

She then hugs me (lolwat). Phone stopped ringing for a little while..naka off na pala. Nag dinner na lang din kami don sa unit nya before we "review"

And voila!! While we were eating ay biglang bumukas yung pinto. Ang bisita ay

• Mommy nya

• Daddy nya

• Si Boyfie ni girl

Surprise daw. Anniv daw nila e. May cake na Happy Anniversary ang nakasulat.

...surprise din sa kanila

Awkward silence

Inunahan ko na lahat sila

"Congrats po at di nyo kagad jinudge ang anak nyo! Test lang to kung immoral ba talaga tingin nyo sakanya. Here's your celebratory food! I'm her friend nga po pala and my job here is done. Ho ho ho!"

Sabay alis at block contact.

Edit: Kung nag rereddit ka kakalimutan ko lahat basta kalimutan mo yung "ho ho ho" part. Pero, hindi literal na pakyu para sayo.

/u/ninetailedoctopus

My pregnant SO in the past weeks had much trouble finding something she can eat without puking it back out, but last night she devoured the shrimp gambas I cooked, to the point of licking the plate.

I felt like I won in the Iron Chef.

/u/benchdd1

Nakakalungkot talaga mag isa but ang hirap mag gain ng new friends hayyy.

/u/panic4me

NO UNSOLICITED ASS GRABBING PLEASE

/u/riding_the_COCKpit

Ehem ehem, padaan. [MILD] Momol story

For the back story, I installed Tinder 3 days ago and very minimal lang ako mag swipe right as in 1 out of 15 lang ganun. The moment I woke up the next morning, may follow request akos a Twitter, a guy from Ateneo and he found me on Tinder daw so he DMed me and asked me to befriend him. So yeah, nagchat kami about stuff and then bigla syang nagtanong ng mildly sexual questions na virgin ka pa ba ganon, so me, being an open-minded human being, parang okay casually speaking lang naman eh. We talked until we agreed to meet up the following day.

I was a curious cat din kasi and I wanna know kung paano ang system (especially kapag inuman) ng Katip peeps.

So ayun nga, we met, and went to an underrated bar somewhere in Katip, I met his friends too and this all where it began.

Naglaro kami casually ng drinking games and I was hitting up on one of his friends kasi type ko talaga sya huhu but ended up being with my Tinder date instead.

2 hours after ng inuman, naagpalit ng seats ung friend nya and sya and he started hugging me and asking me like 'Okay lang ba maging clingy?' Sabi ko okay fine. So yun, he then proceeded to touch me all over and then we kissed a little. Ang awkward kasi di ako sanay makipagmomol sa harap ng friends and STRANGERS 😭😂

Nag comfort room ako saglit and then may pumasok, I was a little tipsy so I didn't really mind kung sino man yun, pagkalingon ko, siya pala.... Tapos ayun na nga, the fun part... binuhat nya ko and pinned me to the wall. Hahahaha, with mild touch ganon.

Never thought these Katip peeps are super wild. Lol

Ayun lang. Hahahaha. Good evening r/ph