Sometimes, I just want to apologize on behalf of the white race for how some people act when they come to the Philippines. They show up with an attitude we’d never accept if it were the other way around.

I’m talking about visitors who are loud, demanding, and rude—treating Filipinos like personal servants. They expect locals to drop everything to help them, often taking advantage of people’s politeness, knowing they’ll say “yes” just to avoid complaints.

And then there’s the whole thing with older foreign men coming here looking for young partners. It’s honestly cringe-worthy to see some guy who’d probably struggle to find a date back home walking around with an 18-year-old, or even worse, a 70- or 80-year-old barely able to walk doing the same. People might argue these relationships help those in poverty, but there’s always an imbalance. The foreigner controls the money, the home—everything. It’s never a 50/50 situation, and that’s something more people should acknowledge.

I moved to the Philippines about 20 years ago, back when there weren’t as many tourists. I made an effort to learn the language and blend into the local community. I never expected special treatment, even though I saw other foreigners belittling servers and treating people poorly. I made a point of learning the basics, like calling guards “kuya” or “ate,” using “po” and “ma’am,” and even the local gestures like “blessing” (yep, I do it).

So, on behalf of those who act entitled or engage in shady behavior, I just want to say sorry. Some of us are genuinely embarrassed by it.