We call it all kinds of things -- semen, cum, jizz, cock milk, pearl jam and on and on. I think that when a thing has many, many names then it must have a lot of significance to people. Like the Inuit tribe that has 60 terms for snow and all its varieties. Something you think about enough to create new terms for has to have significance.

Much is made in ancient fertility cults about female fertility and reproductive power. It's impressive, and as a bi man, I have worshipped women, too. But we know women. We emerge for the first time into the world from between a woman's legs, all of us. Joseph Campbell said that the search for the father is the search for self because he is less familiar to us than the mother. Harder to know.

I think our desire to suck cock to have a man orgasm inside us is in part a desire to recreate that moment of conception and know when we emerged, or half of us emerged, from the cock of our fathers. It is the search for that primal seed.

I don't dismiss simple lust and a desire for our own pleasure, but why is it that men and women sometimes (maybe oftentimes?) prioritize the male orgasm over their own. I've known many men who love to suck cock but are more than happy to jack off and cum on their own. Also, women who just want to cause their man to orgasm or bring him pleasure without immediate reciprocity.

Evolution, genetics and more drive us to give primacy and importance to seed and the male orgasm because it is essential for reproduction. A woman, perhaps sadly and unjustly, can fail to orgasm and still get pregnant, but she can't reproduce without it. The egg inside her is more mysterious, often even for her. I think this is one reason we are so fixated on cum, on semen, on seed. It is that point of origin we can re-enact and see.

I remember many years ago a man fucking me on his marital bed and in the throes of passion saying he was going to 'breed' me like his wife. That was a huge turn-on and also the first time I heard someone use the term during sex and in reference to two men fucking. I thought it was weird, too. Clearly, we both understood he wasn't going to get me pregnant. Often, the word is used merely to mean 'cum in me' without barrier. I hear it more and more though.

We WANT that cum. We want it in our mouths, in our asses, and if we're women, in our pussies. I have also heard men refer to their assholes, their rectums and anuses as their 'pussies' or 'boypussies' or 'manpussies.'

Even when our rational minds recognize that reproduction is impossible, we use its language and are moved by its most basic drives. I've known men who told me that when they have fucked powerful assertive women, sometimes even their bosses, they become submissive during sex. The same goes for the so-called 'power bottom.' It's that PRIMAL urge to please a man to orgasm.

I don't want to overstate it. There are happy women who have never had sex with a man and who do NOT want to be penetrated or have sex with a man. There are professed asexual people. Sex is multivariant and powerful and people seek a wide variety of things from it in a wild variety of ways. It can be completely about pleasure and bonding and love. But these biological and cultural questions fascinate me. If you have made it this far in this essay, thank you for listening to me think out loud.