So this is my idea.

We’ve been a couple for a while. Maybe even married but childless. I’m totally tied to you( I have a dumb job that doesn’t pay much. Typical strained family life. You’re not in love with me, and at times you’re kind of contemptuous, but you do feel a level of responsibility for me.

But now you’ve found someone else that you really decide you love. She’s extreme in her beliefs about people and views me as pretty worthless, totally beneath either of you. When you tell me you want to leave, you do it with her there.

I beg. I plead. I swear to do anything to keep you. I offer slavery. I’m totally desperate.

She smiles and whispers to you an idea. She calls her dog, a German shepherd, over to her.

“You can’t be with him anymore,” she says, patting your shoulder, “but he is pretty lonely.” And she points one dog. “We’d be open to having Rex and his girlfriend stay here with us as part of our family. Of course, we’d need to know you really loved him.”

So that’s the starting point for me. I’d like to be a person who has to be in love with a dog, and slowly be seen as one.

I’d like to start with you making me prove my affection, so I’d have to start seeing dogs as partners. Make me find you pics of dogs I find sexy. Make me tell you how hot they are and how I get turned on. Make me beg to be part of his world.

Eventually then have me be his girlfriend. Tell me to prepare romantic dinners of Alpo. Stuff like that.

Here’s the big limit: you don’t want to have sex with me!