I posted recently elsewhere about how my dog was recently diagnosed with lyme disease. And that she's probably been fighting with it for a year.

I've been lucky that I haven't had to treat her myself, as she's been with my family. We've been mid-move and figured it be easiest for her to go to my family while we pack, unpack, and save up for a new pet deposit. Especially since we were between rentals and stuck in a hotel for a week. I haven't had to watch her decline. My mom works at a vet and is not only familiar with giving her liquid antibiotics and subcutaneous fluids, but she also recognizes when it's time. And today she called and told me that... It's probably time. She can't walk much anymore. And I'm heartbroken.

My poor Shi-Shi. Called such because when we got her I was maybe 12, and she's a shih-tzu. But it sounded a lot like saying shit, and I didn't want to get in trouble telling people in school about what breed my new puppy was. So she was a Shi-Shi, and it stuck.

She spent the last year with me and my partner in our little apartment, and as much as it pains me to have gotten my partner emotionally invested in her, I like to think it was all worth it. We have so many more memories and pictures of her. I think I would've felt worse had I went through all 4 years of college only to lose her right after I finish.

I'm going to miss her so so much... And I have to break the news to my partner when he gets home from work, and we have to figure out when we want to make the drive to see her again. I don't know whether I want to be there for her through her euthanasia. But I don't want to put that entirely on my mother either.