Well, here I am. I knew the day would come, I just didn’t think it would be any time soon or even this year. On Thursday my best friend of 17 years crossed the rainbow bridge. I’ve had him for the majority of my life, I was 7 when I got him and I’m now 24, and I can’t imagine my life without him. I’ve cried every day so far. I visit his little grave we have in the backyard, yet it still doesn’t feel real. I never felt true denial until this and I truly don’t know how to pull myself out of it. I’m losing myself at a rapid pace and I don’t know what to do. I’m so numb yet so sensitive at the same time? I’m at a loss and my brain is scrambled. I feel guilty that I couldn’t be there with him to take his last breath. I feel guilty that we buried him because it’s cold outside. I just hope and pray that God is taking care of him in Heaven (and I’m losing my mind wondering if he is or not though I’ll never have that answer).