My dog, a male Yorkipoo named Capo, turns 15 8 days from today. In September, he was diagnosed with soft-tissue sarcoma. The tumor was removed, and thankfully there were no other signs of cancer detected with x-rays or ultrasound. But, because of a pre-existing liver condition and the exorbitant cost at a time when I had just bought a house AND lost my job, I decided - with the advice of his oncologist - that we should not put my boy through chemotherapy as it would likely exacerbate his liver condition and shorten his life.

Since September, it has been so many vet visits and so, so many thousands of dollars. Two weeks ago, Capo started sleeping a lot more and rejecting more than just dog food. I took him to the vet, again. His blood tests and urinalysis came back normal for a dog at his age with his conditions. He's clearly uncomfortable from arthritis, but I can't get him to eat anything that I can get his medication into. It has been a painful two weeks. I have spent countless hours monitoring him, researching his symptoms, speaking to and taking him to vets, but nothing has been conclusive. I can't afford any more tests as I've legitimately put my ability to keep my home in jeopardy between this and the job loss (I am employed again, thankfully, but soooo very far behind).

I'm not coming here for advice (although I'm open to it), I just feel like such a failure, all while trying to balance not giving up on him with keeping him comfortable until I have to make the unbearable decision to say goodbye.

I have his pawprint in both ink and clay, more photos and videos than I could ever watch, and have found a vet that performs at-home euthanasia services so he can go peacefully at home. I'm just terrified of both waiting too long and acting too soon. This will be the third dog I'll have to say goodbye to, but this was the first dog that was entirely mine. It certainly doesn't get easier. My heart breaks for anyone else going through something like this.