It took us by surprise. He had breathing problems for a while but despite doing everything the vet said he had an attack. The past fews days everything seemed fine, this felt so sudden. He was transferred to emergency today and even got better for a bit there. Then it suddenly went downhill and they called us in to say goodbye. He couldn't breathe on his own and couldn't be conscious because he fought the tubing. He woke up for a bit but was sedated again. At least he knew we were there I guess. I stayed for the last shot that would stop his heart. I couldn't leave him alone.

I don't know what to do with myself now. I can't believe it's real, that he won't be there tomorrow to cuddle while I drink my coffee. I knew it would happen someday. Pets die. But it feels unreal, sudden. Just not real