Dear Storm,

I wish I could send my love to you to the cosmos. You were given to us as a teenage dog because you were the problematic husky. You tried to escape a dozen times during your first months with us. Were you trying to search for your first family? I'm sure you were hurt that you had to change homes.

Then, you pulled your leash too hard. My senior mom fell over and had scabs on her knees for weeks. We had to give "release money" to a person who caught you because you were trying to leave our village. But we loved you nonetheless, and you grew to love us too.

We were both misfits and we bonded on our shared stubbornness. Were you annoyed when we had to take too many photos near the flowers? Why do you enjoy crossing that bridge to the street where the dogs were threatening to bite us? You know, I'd just shoo them away. You were the alpha and you decided when to go home and where to go. I just let you.

Two years ago, you were diagnosed with Canine TVT. I googled and messaged all the vets in our town. They said it was treatable. You started attending your chemo sessions. How brave of you! But our walks started going shorter, your paws started being tender, and your fur started to lose its shine. Still, you maintained the drama whenever I had to cut your nails. I cut your quick once, and you (accidentally) kicked me in the face but you kissed me as an apology.

The confinements became more frequent this year. You let us know that you didn't enjoy being left in the vet hospital. But you understood, we will return to fetch you when you've regained your strength. I still watch your happy tap dance video after your confinement.

It never returned though. We had to rush you to the ER at midnight. They said your liver could no longer take the chemo drugs. Blood transfusion was your last chance. I tried looking for donors, and there were. I wish I could tell you there were angels who volunteered for you. I found a blood bank in another city, so we took a Grab while I hug the dextrose beside you.

I sat beside you during the blood transfer. You raised your head to hug me because I was inconsolable. I know how painful it was for you to stand up and do that. I told you, I'll be back tomorrow because I haven't slept for two days. We knew the drill, tomorrow you'll do your happy tap dance when you get better.

But you didn't, you crossed the rainbow bridge. I still feel the guilt that I wasn't beside you on your last breath. But I know you had to, I know you were in pain when I carried you to the vet. Were you waiting for me so we can have our last walk?

I love you Storm. I'm sorry I wasn't able to visit you as much as I wanted to.