I adopted Rudy when I was in college years ago. After moving to a no-dog place, my parents happily offered to take him and he’s been there for 3 years.

About 2 years ago now, my parents got a new dog named Shelby. She is a German Shepard. My parents never quite got her training and she rarely listened. In august, she attacked Rudy, who is a small beagle.

It was horrible and Rudy needed extensive surgery but survived. I broke my lease and kept him for 3 months until he healed. My parents assured this would never happen again and Rudy would be kept safe and Shelby would be trained by a professional.

Today, I got the call. It happened again and Rudy didn’t make it. I wasn’t there. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ve had many pets: dogs, cats, rabbits. When I say this dog was the best friend I ever had…he was my everything.

I got Rudy as an ESA. I had a severe drug issue while in school, but when I had Rudy… I didn’t use. I thoroughly believe this dog saved my life, and I couldn’t even be there with him, let alone save him.

I feel so broken and what shakes me up even more is that my parents want to keep Shelby. They have a second dog and a cat. My parents are also getting older. I am so scared for them.

I don’t know what I’m looking for… am I wrong to want them to re-home Shelby? If they don’t, how do I even visit my family with her there or be in the same home where my best friend was basically murdered? How do I forgive my parents? How do I forgive myself? How am I supposed to wake up tomorrow knowing my best friend was killed and I couldn’t say goodbye to him?