My cat/ best friend got diagnosed with nasal lymphoma in October. We didn't even know it was there until the tumor put pressure on her eyeball, causing it to be removed. We thought she just needed a simple enucliation and that would be it. That was the beginning of everything.

Of course, radiation cost an arm and a leg so we turned that down. I kept her on prednisolone and she was doing so well its as if this whole diagnosis was a dream. I told myself I wouldn't put her through chemo. After several months, the prednisolone wore off and my little kitty was fading away. It felt so unfair. She's only 7. I had her for 3 short years, compared to the lifetime we were supposed to have. I ended up starting the chemo pill as a last ditch effort.

The pill has actually been helping a lot. We are on month 3 of it, and then I noticed her having problems eating. She was missing several teeth, including a fang. The cancer has spread to her mouth and is knocking teeth out. As of 3/4ish days ago, my kitty stopped eating completely. She's constantly licking/cheeing/gagging on air. She paws at her mouth when trying to eat. I called my vet immediately. I figured it was finally time, but my vet insisted on trying to keep her going with pain medicine. I listenednto my vet. My cat still cant eat. Ive been syringe feeding her liquods and food each day which has been hard.

I know it must be her time. I know this is no life for her. But my vet keeps insisting other options (tooth extraction, feeding tube, ie) and it makes me feel like I'm giving up on her if I choose not to. What's even harder is, despite her not really eating, her personality is shining through.

My sick little kitty is purring again, playing, cuddling, etc. I feel do conflicted. How can I put her to sleep when she's acting like that? But at the same time. Why can't I bring myself to put her to rest before it gets bad again? This is so hard. Cancer sucks.