A friend who visits once a year was up today and we did our usual beach day. She always takes photos and air drops them to me at the end of the day and I usually dread seeing all of the things I hate about my body. But. For the first time in 2-3 years I actually looked at these photos with a bit of joy.

Ironically, I am not my thinnest or smallest. I am heavier than I’ve ever been (151ish, GW is 140) and I’ve been back in the gym consistently for about 2.5 months.

My dog was killed tragically last year and it caused a lot of trauma. I gained 10lbs on top of an existing 10lbs from covid years and finally decided this spring was my time to do something. It took a whole year from my loss to feel capable of it, it was rough.

What’s wild is that the green swimsuit photos were 2 years ago with the same friend. I remember looking through them and being mortified and hating on my body. 1. I was much smaller but 2. I was much more focused on the wrong things. Loss changed me and while I’m not “where I want to be” I also am happier than I’ve ever been in many ways. I love what my body helps me do. I love the story it’s carried me through. I love the life I live in this body.

Perspective matters, and it’s true what they say. If you’re doing it right, progress and contentment can coexist. As much as I am excited for my “dream body” to be a result of my hard work, I’m also thrilled to feel good in my skin today for the first time in years when I’ve cringed at smaller versions of myself constantly. Nothing was ever enough. But today…I was enough. Where I am IS enough. This week has been a big one for me in a lot of ways and I wanted to share. Yeah, I’m kinda posting cause I feel good in my skin. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that! I’ve got another 11lbs to go but in so many ways I feel more than halfway there. 💖