10 years as a daily smoker and I decided a week ago to take a tolerance break. I was doing so great until todays holiday. I fell. I fell and I feel like dirt. I shouldn't have but in the moment I am stressed before traveling early in the morning, I'm not a good flyer. I'm ashamed because 10 years of being hooked I finally felt like I made some headway in my mental health and all I feel is shame, anxeity and uneasyness. I tapered down for 2 months to reach a point where I actually felt weird to not smoke. Day 1 was so hard and it got better but not without it's moments of doubt I couldn't do it. Come to the holiday and I fell. That moment where I just wanted to rest and relax after built up stress turned into wanting to climb into bed and ride this out and never touch it again for a long time. Pot is such a part of my life for 20 years, 10 of those being daily. Almost no tolerance breaks. And now this.

Happy 4:20 everybody! Hope you are all hanging in there.