Around two months ago, I was gifted a small group of baby mice (4). I didn't exactly want them because I didn't think I could really care or love such tiny little creatures. I also had my rats so I thought I didn't need any more small pets. Unfortunately, one escaped as I was trying to figure out how to house them, but I decided to just keep the other three so I could rehome them. Long story short, that didn't happen... the rehoming I mean. I decided to keep the mice.

Enter Sadie! From the beginning, she was the most curious and energetic little mouse. She was the first to climb upside down on the mesh and when I held her and talked to her in my hands, she would sit and look up at me and look like she was listening. She made me crack up over the silly things she would do in the tank. I kept her and her sisters in a ten gallon tank, but once I decided I wanted to keep the silly little nuggets, I upgraded them to a large cage that could apparently hold nine mice. I was only planning on just keeping the three little ones though.

Sadie was special. I bonded with her instantly and even though I didn't even want mice in the beginning, I found myself being excited to hold them, play with them, and just watch them. Sadie held a special place in my heart though in this trio. I guess you have your heart rats, your heart cats, and Sadie was my heart mouse. She was just my little buddy. She would sit so nicely on my shoulder for hours and hang out with me as I cooked, did homework, or went on a walk around the neighborhood.

Last week, I realized that I hadn't seen Sadie climbing upside-down in her cage for a couple of days. I went to watch her and her sisters and realized that she seemed a little less energetic. I went to scoop her up, and instead of jumping into my hand, I had to actually pick her up. When I did, I realized that her sides were almost bumpy, under her fur, and my heart sank. A month ago, if you had told me that I would ever take a mouse to a vet, I would have laughed at you. But the next day, I took Sadie to the vet in a little tissue box.

On August 17th, Sadie was diagnosed with cancer. I didn't realize this at the time, having done mostly research on rats, but tumors in mice are almost always malignant. That same day, Sadie began moving with a head tilt. I was told that I had a couple weeks with her at most. I immediately separated her from her sisters in the cage by putting up a mesh divider, so that she could still see her sisters, but I could monitor her food and water intake, as well as her droppings.

Early morning on the 18th, Sadie ate her last unforced meal. She pigged out on watermelon, cheerios, and sunflower seeds and had a great time! I began force feeding her with a syringe early on the 19th, and she started to become somewhat bitey and aggressive (normal in mice with cancer, as often times, cancer spreads to the brain and affects personality). I fed her a mix of chicken and rice baby food mixed with vanilla ensure. I tried to entice her with mini dark chocolate chips, watermelon, sunflower seeds, and honey nut cheerios, but she didn't want anything to do with food. Her poop that day was hard and very very dark. She only pooped three times that night.

I noticed on the 20th that Sadie was often unable to move her back legs and tail, and therefore, was unable to defecate. I began stimulating her to go to the bathroom that afternoon and continued to everytime I fed her, which was six times a day. By last night, the 21st, Sadie lost all use of her paws and tail. Selfishly, I didn't take her to the vet because I wanted her alive as long as possible. She wasn't vocalizing that she was in pain, but as we didn't have too much to lose, I mixed a little bit of pain medicine (very very little I swear) into her syringe feeding, and fed her. By now, it was very evident that instead of "weeks" that I was hoping for my mouse, we had only hours. She had a couple licks of food, and then refused.

By now, I thought I had tortured her enough and she wasn't really "living" anymore. This morning, she was still alive. She lifted her head when she saw me. Her sisters were grooming her through the mesh. I picked her up around 10am and cuddled her until she passed around 2pm. Sadie was only, at the oldest, two months old.

Cancer sucks. It goes so fast. I'm so sorry, Sadie, that I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I couldn't do more. I love you so much, little one. Good night, little nugget. It was such a good six weeks with you. I didn't know I could love you so fast so much and lose you so quickly. How was so much love packed in a little 21 gram body?

Love your little meecies extra for me today and forever please. I have my two other girlies, Ophelia and Annie, and I'll be loving them extra tonight (and of course, forever), with my ratties and my kitty.

This is Sadie the day I decided to keep her: https://imgur.com/pRFyNXu

Sadie on the 19th: https://imgur.com/pkLZdrb

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