Central emotions: Empathy and kindness

Guiding needs: To give and to belong

Core skill: Be balanced

Ego state: Nurturing Parent

Moto: Stay kind

Characteristics:

The Healer, with his kindness, empathy and power of self-sacrifice, is the mediator between the lower spectrum heroes (Guardian, Explorer and Achiever), and the upper spectrum ones (Architect, Wise Queen and Joker).

Description

The Healer symbolises the link between any opposing forces - good and bad, masculinity and femininity, altruism and selfishness, past and future, often carrying the burden that comes from both sides until a solution is reached. The Healer must learn to protect himself against the pressure put by others. He is a natural giver and it is never easy for him to set boundaries. Yet, once he understands that his energy is limited despite his best efforts to prove otherwise, he can find the motivation to prioritize some requests and needs over others, thus avoiding exhaustion and managing to reach some tangible results in his initiatives.

Skills to level up

• Forgive your Guardian

Sometimes in order to improve one hero we need to get into better contact with the energy coming from another. For a Healer to reach his full potential, it is important to have the Guardian on his side. At first, this might be very difficult. As the Healer cherishes selflessness, he is likely to despise the selfish and egocentric attitude of the Guardian. He is so used to censoring personal needs, that, in time, he loses contact with them. A Healer without healthy boundaries invests his energy in lost causes or dissipates it randomly. To make a better selection and prioritize his investments, he needs Guardian’s perspective on things. To win him back, the Healer must accept that the needs he expresses might sound selfish and superficial, but are not necessary unhealthy. On the contrary, he brings the energy, determination and discernment that allows us do something meaningful and relevant for ourselves and others. So, remember, the Guardian is the hero that channels and supplements the good energy coming from the Healer.

• It’s all about the love of self and love of others

A Healer who is not aware of his needs has difficulty in managing his emotions and in finding the balance between giving and receiving. Being focused on others, he finds it very easy to understand others’ suffering or joy, but he also gets hurt easily. Once he feels threatened, he tends to shut down communication with the author of the threat. In this situation the Healer once again needs help from the Guardian, who can tell him how far he can go with his forgiveness, as well as his resentment. Knowing when to withdraw and when to get closer and listen to what others have to say is not an impossible task for a Healer who accepts his own limits. The healthy Healer is capable of using his love and empathy as a superpower, not as a form of vulnerability. He understands that love is usually the wiser option and he knows how to apply this principle, without sacrificing himself. He can make others feel valuable, understood and seen, and also take care of his own needs and wants.

• Happiness and peace come from inside

Last, but not least, the Healer is the hero that brings the warmth of peaceful joy in anyone’s life. Once he understands the lesson of love: find the love you expect from others within yourself, he manages to free himself from the hardest burden an unhealthy Healer has to carry: his dependence on others’ love, appreciation and care. Once he does this, he is able to give for the right reason and he is able to offer himself the love and care he thrives for. He can then start enjoying the simple things of life and be thankful for what he has. He can give up the unhealthy role of the Savior and let people that are not on the same page leave and follow their own path. He stops trying to change for the sake of others and accepts that some will never understand, nor appreciate him. And he can be ok with this new insights and use them to his own benefit, without holding grudges or regretting past decisions or emotional investments.

Watch out for these

• Emotional burnout

When the Healer is the dominant side of the personality, the person is very similar to the superheroes in movies. His superpower is his capacity to make other people feel at ease and content. He makes others laugh, has a good word for anyone around him and cheers things up. Being quite idealistic, he expects others to work the same way as he does. With this mindset, he finds just natural to give all that he can, cause when he is out of energy, he can always a lean on others, right? Unfortunately, the Healer rarely surrounds himself by other Healers, therefore his requests often remain without an echo.

• Becoming aware and acceptant of his own needs

Besides his intrinsic altruism, the Healer is often driven in his actions by an unconscious need to belong and be loved, accepted, and cared for. He gives a lot and unconsciously expects to receive love in return. When this does not happen he feels disappointed and let down, not understanding what is actually happening. As already mentioned, the Healer surrounds himself by people who are in need of receiving and less capable of giving something in return. This frustrates him on two levels: firstly, he feels emotionally deprived, secondly he gets upset with himself for feeling that way. A good lesson for every Healer is to understand that his need for love is valid. Another one, is to learn to wisely choose the people he surrounds himself by. And what better method of doing this than learning to ask for what he truly wants and learning to set limits when he feels that his boundaries are disrespected.

• Wisely managing the need to give

Moreover, a Healer benefits from learning to channel his energy to certain causes that he truly believes in, which can bring him a true satisfaction, while also having a significant impact on the world. To understand the fact that his altruism is an invaluable resource for himself and others, he needs a good connection with his Guardian and Wise Queen. Once he sees his altruism like this, he can take his satisfaction from giving without expecting the same thing in return. He is aware why he needs to give and he takes reward from seeing the positive impact he can have on the world. Otherwise this resource is spread in vain, with has no clear purpose or direction.