Central emotion: Fear

Guiding needs: survival and safety

Core skill: Face your fears

Ego state: Protective Parent

Characteristics

The default character in the Game of Life is the Guardian. He is the side that we are born with and that is later on nurtured through education. The Guardian almost perfectly overlaps our Ego and is directly responsible for our preservation and safety.

Description

Having a well functioning Guardian is a condition for our survival. The Guardian makes us feel safe in world that can be quite menacing. He is the one vigilant to the dangers around us and concerned with protecting us form them. His attachment to existing rules, system of beliefs, and to his own identity makes him an important pawn in the maintenance of reality and society as they are. He is a dedicated and energetic fighter for the causes that he believes in, being usually esteemed as a model citizen. Thus his development and thriving are encouraged through the education, laws and standards promoted by our culture and society.

Skills to Level Up

• Face your fears

BUT There is a trick about the Guardian. You know him and you don't. You know the facet of the Guardian that is nurtured by society: the dedicated worker, the good father, the moralist, the one who conscientiously executes orders and avoids risks and change as much as possible. Nevertheless, there is another side of the Guardian that is not as well developed and that needs to be unlocked and trained to prove its benefits. It is the side that we need to nurture in order to unlock the healthy side of the other characters. It is the Guardian that masters the abilities in the Skill Tree. It is a Guardian who has successfully accomplished the first mission of this game: Face your fears! It sounds all too simple, like a cliche, but to to gain access to your power and real self, you literally need to identify, expose and master your fears.

• The master of his own life

The Guardian’s behavior tends to be paradoxical in many different ways. This happens because the Guardian’s awareness is limited to certain realities. Specifically, he is very likely to be conscious and conscientious when it comes to the duties he knows he has as a partner, parent, employee, neighbor or citizen. But when it comes to subtler aspects, such as taking his life into his hands and assuming full responsibility for it, the Guardian seems to lose his proverbial the clarity of thought. Thus, when we get stuck on our way to a certain goal, the Guardian inside us – which, remember, is the equivalent of our Ego! – feels threatened and intervenes in an attempt to diffuse the responsibility for this. He can persuade us that we were unfortunate, that others prevented us from reaching better results or that the mistake is not that important. Such an approach rarely leads to optimal solutions. A Guardian needs guidance to understand that each person is the master of his own life. This indeed comes with a greater responsibility and with a great relief as well. When we consciously make decisions and act upon them, we stop feeling helpless or in need for outside guidance and start focusing on finding opportunities and solutions. Read more about taking responsibility here.

• You are not your mistakes

This leads to another common challenge for a Guardian: that of not taking things too personally. The Guardian makes us get so attached to our decisions and actions, that sometimes we find it impossible to detach ourselves emotionally from them. So if we are told that our decisions are not good enough, we become defensive and search for all those arguments that can prove the contrary. Searching for alternative explanations is usually constructive, but becomes counterproductive when it is done for the wrong reasons. The Guardian needs guidance from the other characters (The Council of Seven) to develop the skill of interpreting feedback as an opportunity to learn something new. Of course this is easier said than done. To do this, the Guardian needs to work on his mindset regarding his actual worth and his place in the world. Firstly, he must learn that his worth is intrinsic and constant, independent of his actions or success. Secondly, he needs to understand that some things have nothing to do with him and happen with or without his contribution.

• Putting things in perspective

A balanced Guardian will learn to seek the truth and embrace it, no matter how harsh. He will realize that the truth comes with greater independence and power. Once he accepts reality as it is, he can start making wise decisions. A tamed Guardian prefers asking questions and researching a matter instead of making assumptions. He will choose to live in a less cluttered environment (in terms of things, relationships, goals, interests to pursue) to be able to dedicate himself and enjoy them. He will help you accept the fact that nothing is guaranteed to be yours forever, not even your life and that you are part of a larger reality. Acknowledging this truth with all your being unlocks your next character, the Explorer, who in turn will open the door to new experiences, including those related to spirituality and self-actualization.

Watch out for these

• Having a rigid stance on life

Not surprisingly, a Guardian’s vocabulary is full of “shoulds” and “musts”. He believes so much in the programming that he has been taught ever since he was little, that he now uses the knowledge coming from this area as a guiding compass of the world. To a certain extent, this brings him a feeling of safety and comfort. Having a schedule or knowing that things work almost flawlessly in a certain way in the society come with peace of mind. Of course, there is nothing wrong with this view on life. The problems usually arise when these expectations are not met. This automatically places a Guardian out of his comfort zone. What the Guardian is tempted to do is to re-create that order by all means, often ending up with a distorted view of reality that prevents him from finding proper a proper approach. The Guardian could benefit from accepting the world as a less predictable place, but which offers plenty of opportunities.

• Judging and criticizing

The Guardian feels responsible to defend norms and moral standards and he takes this role very seriously. His opinions may sound judgmental and rather conservative. He thinks that it is his duty to make sure that he himself and others follow certain rules and principles of behavior. He needs time and kind guidance to learn to interpret reality with greater tolerance and sympathy. The effort is worth doing, as it can bring to the surface the best in this character. A tamed Guardian gives balance and common sense to the individual, allowing him become an agreeable and balanced being.

By Andreea Hill